Afraid of Heights
by kokoro77
Summary: Hey, Roxas. Nice to meet you. Can you tell me something? You afraid of heights? So asks tall, skinny, possibly suicidal redhead. Roxas isn't sure if meeting said redhead is a strike of pure luck or a one way ticket to the streets below. -AkuRoku-
1. Lucky

**Author's Note: did you see this one coming? maybe some of you guys, considering that i've been asking random questions about death recently. (i'm not suicidal, mkay? XO) for you new readers, what's up? here, i go by "kokoro77". on other places, i go by "kagome1nonly", "koibito813", "pooky", "wife" and "that one girl with insanely long hair that belongs in a shampoo commercial". call me what you want, just not something totally offensive unless you mean it as a joke. ;3**

**i came up with the idea for this story some MONTHS ago when school was just starting, but i never got around to starting it. i was afraid that i didn't have enough of a plot to work with. well, i eventually threw myself on the comp and did it. i deserve snaps, ey? you know you love me. XD**

**disclaimer: do not own, never will i own. comprendes? now, i hope you enjoy YET ANOTHER akuroku tale by moi. w00t w00t**

**wheewhoowheewhoo: there will be _attempted suicide_, sailor talk, yaoi, _sex_, boyish attitude and _angsty love_ that will tug at your heartstrings _so hard_ your heart might be ripped out. that's akuroku for ya. X3**

* * *

Afraid of Heights

_"I, I'm thinking there's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned...  
They will see us waving from such great heights. "Come down now," they'll say.  
But everything looks perfect from far away "Come down now"_

_But we'll stay..."  
-Such Great Heights by The Postal Service_

7. It was always his lucky number.

Then again, hasn't it always been lucky for everyone? But _he_ happened to be _exceptionally _lucky with the number. He was born at 7 AM on the 7th of the 7th month. His parents wouldn't stop acting giddy over the fact that he, indeed, could have been an angel brought to earth. And as he grew, that angel-like luck carried along with him.

At 7 months he was already learning how to crawl and stand on his own without the aid of his mother or father's hand. People called him somewhat of a child prodigy.

At 7 years he earned his first BMX bike for his birthday; the one that had been virtually sold out in every toy store known to mankind. He learned how to ride it within a week of determined practice.

At 17 he left high school with the great aspiration of entering the medical field, and his grades proved that he had the ability to do so. Life seemed to be sugar coated with luck for him. He made sure to step over every crack and swerve around every ladder; turn from every black cat and catch every falling mirror.

7 years of bad luck? No such thing, right? 7 years of bad luck was the one 7 "thing" that he didn't think he could apply to.

And with every accomplishment in his life, he held onto that statement as being the ultimate truth. Nothing would hurt him, not even a rain cloud could bring him down...

Born perfect, live perfectly.

Life seemed to play out nicely as a fairy tale would. The only problem was: how to end it. After all, beneath all that sugar coated goodness was one bitter tasting pill that ultimately failed what it was prescribed to him for: a lifetime of happiness. There really _was_ no reason to stand anymore.

It'd only been a passing thought. Just _barely_ lasted a measly second. Now, how was it that this _tiny_ thought would manage to seep deeper into his subconscious and completely begin to alter his thought processes?

What did it matter? He'd just go about doing "it" anyway.

He just had to find the perfect place for his life to end. He'd have to make sure he'd time it correctly. Make sure that no one would be there; that no one would hear him. Then he wouldn't be found. Pure logic.

...The only problem was: how would he hope to do this, if he was _so_ afraid of heights?

xxXXxx

It was a tall building. Not _insanely_ tall...but just tall enough. In fact, it was its height that caught the blonde's attention in the split second he'd seen it while riding the train only last week. It was only a brown blur of an abandoned building, sitting comfortably yet dejectedly in the distance, nestled in between a couple of shops that he'd never been to.

But still, despite how dull it looked in comparison, Roxas took that building into consideration. It wasn't just a blur to him. For him, the building, in a sense, represented himself. Yep. Abandoned and a sore thumb in the crowd.

Roxas had passed the building almost everyday, by foot or by train. He'd always managed to snag a good view of it: its cracked windows and chipped brick walls. And every time he would see it, he'd smile. Why? Looking at it didn't make him _happy_. Just sort of...accomplished.

"That's the one," he muttered to himself, a smile playing on his bright, peach face. You'd think that he'd be a loony for even _noticing _something so useless. And with that, he shoved a hand into his pockets and strolled off down the street, hoping that his footsteps would go unnoticed.

So for the remainder of the week, Roxas got up, left the house, went to work at the sweets shop for the next seven hours, constantly repeated "Here you go" "I'm sorry" and "Thank you, come again", left, and at sunset passed by that very building just around the corner. All week. Every day.

Friday. 6 PM. Cold. Freezing cold. Lights off. Windows shut. Roads clear. People gone.

Strange for a Friday night...but for Roxas, oh, it was beyond _perfect_. He'd have to dress for the occasion...then again, maybe not. It wouldn't make sense to ruin expensive clothes.

He started going over his plans for the night as he started wiping off the countertop at work, humming a tune that he'd made up on the spot. Just when he'd started punching in the code to open the register, he heard the curtains ruffle behind him and he turned to see his co-worker and best friend Hayner come in.

"What, you closing already?" Hayner asked, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. Roxas shrugged and returned to opening the register.

"I've got plans for tonight."

Behind him, Hayner ripped off his white apron and tossed it against the glass case where all the cookies and whatnot were being displayed. He then pulled up a couple of cardboard boxes, propped them on top of each other and sat down on them lazily.

"Plans, huh? Got a date?"

Roxas shook his head as the register bell chimed and it popped open the drawer. "Nah. Not as exciting as that."

Hayner looked away from the ceiling and raised one eyebrow to Roxas' back. He stopped fanning himself with the newest issue of Playboy magazine and used the corner of it to tap his chin in thought.

"You're...gonna _look_ for a date?" At that, Roxas sighed heavily and, after pulling out 50 bucks from the drawer, slammed it shut, shoved the bills in his pocket and jumped up and over the counter onto the sun baked, cobblestone street. Hayner eyed him curiously.

"Hey, what's the rush? Thought you said this little plan wasn't _exciting_." As he said the last word, Hayner waved his hands in front of him in sarcasm. "Come on. Pull up a box and chill out back here. I've got _magazines_..." he teased, shaking the issue in the air.

Somehow, Roxas knew he wouldn't enjoy reading garbage. But, he politely turned around, saluted off to Hayner and began walking backwards away from the shop. "You know," he started. "When you applied for this job, didn't you _know for a fact_ that it was gonna be boring?"

"Pft, yeah," Hayner muttered without a second thought.

"And even though you felt that way, you were still really anxious to get it?"

"Your point?"

"So, that's my deal. I'm not _super_ pumped for this thing, but I'm still kinda excited about it. It's gonna be life changing, man."

Hayner sighed, flipped open to the first page and dangled it vertically to ogle at a drop down picture on the page. With a bored face, he waved a limp hand at Roxas and said, "Yeah, yeah. You go change your life and tell me how it went, alright?"

Roxas shook his head, rolled his eyes and turned back around to walk out of the town square. He'd only taken a couple of steps when he remembered he still had his apron on. With a quick tug, he yanked it off and bundled it into a tight ball, tossing it directly into the shop and over Hayner's head.

"By the way, tell the boss 'I quit' for me!"

"Yeah, ye—_what_?! Roxas! What do you mean _quit_?! Hey!"

But by then, Roxas was nothing but a flash of yellow, laughing lightly, in the distance.

You would've thought he was happy.

xxXXxx

Friday. 8 PM. Below freezing temperature. Street lights on. Alleys and roads: dark and empty.

No voices. No movement. One guy. Up on a rooftop.

Overlooking the nightlife of Twilight Town.

Tapping his foot nonchalantly on the edge. His breath coming out in thin puffs like cigarette smoke. His fingers frozen at his sides.

A long sleeved, white t-shirt. Baggy jeans. Converse sneakers. He liked those sneakers.

Sea blue eyes. Spiked, golden blonde hair.

Mind never wishing that he was part of that nightlife.

So the saying goes: "It's quiet...too quiet."

It was like being the last man on Earth. And that was too good to be true. Roxas might've decided to turn back around knowing that life was suddenly starting to side with him again; letting positivity come back into his schedule. But, no. No, it had to be done.

The funny thing was, he'd been standing on the edge for at least a painful half hour, doing nothing but staring out at the short buildings that appeared so black in the darkness. His feet still tapped impatiently on the concrete roof and he began wondering when they'd stop _for good_.

With a sigh, he twitched his fingers at his sides and lowered his head until his eyes fell upon the flickering street lights some 7 stories below. "Better do it now, Roxas," he whispered to himself. "Hopefully it won't hurt." He nearly laughed at how maniac he sounded.

And so he began to move his weight on his toes. He felt gravity pulling and pulling and _pulling_ on his arms almost like it was couldn't _wait any longer_. Alright, alright, he thought. I'm coming. He figured that nothing in the world had patience. This was it. Just a bit more and he'd push off.

Don't say anything. Just count in your head.

5-4-3...

"_Damn it! Damn it to hell...!_"

Roxas' heart suddenly fluttered in his still chest. He'd lost concentration because of that random yell. When his eyes had forced open, he abruptly backed away from the edge once he realized just what in the hell he'd been doing. His breathing quickened and his palms began sweating as he shoved them into his pockets.

"What was I doing?" he asked to no one in particular. If anyone had seen his eyes, they would've assumed that he'd been just a kid separated from his mom. Lost and confused. Roxas shivered as a sharp wind nipped at his ears and neck. "What was I doing?" he repeated.

"_Oh, come on...come on, come on. You can do this."_

Wait...that _voice_!

Hearing that voice, Roxas came to the dumb realization that he wasn't alone. _Someone_ was nearby. And for some reason, he had the urge to find out whom. He was sure that he was alone. He was _positive_ about that as soon as he slipped into the abandoned building and climbed the rickety stairs to the roof.

Now he was beyond curious. Listening to his first thought, he turned on his heel, luckily avoided losing his balance on the corner ledge, and faced a building opposite where he was standing. He squinted at the rooftop and had to walk closer to make sure that his head wasn't playing games with him.

But, sure enough, there was someone there. Someone on that roof. And what exactly were they _doing_? It took him a minute, but Roxas soon noticed that whoever they were, they were running back and forth toward the building's ledge and constantly skidding to a stop whenever they barely made it.

He felt like calling out to them, but held his tongue and continued watching as they ran, stopped centimeters from the ledge, backed up and scratched their head in thought.

"_I just don't get it...It's the same every time._"

Normally, Roxas would've run away and would've come back to the building another night. He definitely wouldn't take second thoughts in ignoring the person on the roof...but this time, he felt _worried_.

"Idiot...what're you doing up there?" he hissed to his Converse as he dashed toward the stairs and began his annoying journey of spiraling down _safely _to the ground. Damn this guy for ruining his night.

xxXXxx

"Uhm...excuse me?"

No response.

He tried again. "Hello...?"

Nothing close to an answer.

The blonde nervously chewed his lower lip as he watched the strange guy from a safe distance in the middle of the roof. He had to take a couple steps to the right to avoid being trampled as the guy ran toward him before taking off toward the edge like he was a plane ready to take off.

It'd make sense if the guy would manage to float aimlessly in the air. His waist was thinner than a stick which obviously meant he didn't weigh more than a penny. Anorexic? Maybe. Roxas' eyes trailed from the stranger's long legs to the mess of fiery red hair which was styled in at least a thousand spikes. He couldn't get a great look at his face since he sped off so quickly.

Still, he persisted to standby and wait for a chance with arms crossed and back pressed against the door that opened to the stairway.

"Alright," Skinny guy muttered to himself. Roxas looked up and stared at his back as he rolled his shoulders and shook his feet like some great athlete. "_This _time I'll go for it..."

Roxas pushed away from the door and hesitantly stretched his hand out to him. "W-wait," he said pretty unconfidently. He was pretty sure that Skinny wasn't paying him much attention. "What exactly—"

"Going for it!" And without warning, he backed up a couple of steps and ran at full speed toward the edge again, this time Roxas had the worst feeling that he was really going to jump. Suddenly, his heartbeat quickened and his muscles tensed in panic.

"What exactly are you doing?!" he screamed after the guy. The second he finished asking, the redhead's feet barely tapped the brick ledge when he stopped and, with a disappointed sigh, lowered his foot and for the umpteenth time swore to himself.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Roxas cringed on that word but tried to ignore it. He'd _talk_ with this guy whether he liked it or not. Why care so much? He wasn't sure.

But how often do you see two suicides trying to happen at the same time? At least...at least Roxas assumed this guy was trying to kill himself.

"Hey..." he muttered.

"It's a _simple_ jump! A fall, that's it! Ugh, pathetic." The redhead shook his head disappointedly.

"_Hey_..."

"When you did this _last _week, you had a foot over the edge already. So what I don't get is—"

"HEY!"

Roxas found himself clenching his fists tightly together. His feet were apart as he glared straight at the guy's back: really the only part of him that he'd seen. The redhead instantly froze on the spot; his hands lowered at his sides and his head facing forward at the endless city.

Roxas forced himself to swallow before continuing. His throat hurt for some reason. "I...I just wanna know what you're doing."

The only response Roxas got was a light head nod and the movement of the guy breathing. He sighed heavily. Really, he hated being ignored. "I just saw you and wondered...wondered what was up. Not everyday that you see some guy trying to _jump_." Technically it didn't make sense to say that, considering that _he'd_ been there to jump as well. The scary thing was that the redhead seemed to know that. Roxas couldn't _see it_, but he was smirking quite know-it-all-ish.

"Is it _really_ your business?"

Roxas nibbled his lower lip sheepishly. "S-sorry," he stuttered as he turned back toward the exit door a bit. "Shouldn't've asked, I guess." That was when he realized that it really wasn't his business to be there. His own business was across the street. No matter what he tried, he couldn't budge; his knees buckled and forced him to remain there to watch the crazy redhead's performance.

The taller guy turned back around and rubbed his hands together. "If you _must_ know, this is called jumping. And this part in town just happens to be the best place to do so. Don't you ever listen to the news? Guess not. At any rate, there's not much I can talk to you about anymore, now is there?" But he paused just as he was about to break into a run, tapped a finger nonchalantly on his pointed chin and slowly glanced over his right shoulder. "Or..._is there_?"

Roxas gulped. "N-no. You go right ahead."

"Ah, I see. You know, if you were any old person you'd be off running to the police to tell them about some druggy that's about to throw himself onto the pavement from some, what, seven stories up? But lookie here. You're stayin' put, now _aren't_ you? What's your story, kid?" He'd said that all so quickly and confidently that Roxas was having a very hard time believing that he was suicidal. But mom always said to never judge a book by his cover.

"Me?" he scoffed. "No story."

Tall guy shook his head. "Nah. Everyone's got one. Life may be a hellhole but regardless of what it throws and no matter how many times it'll do it people still have some teeny story they refuse to give up." He turned back and crossed his toned arms over his slim body and rolled his neck. "But why would I talk to you about it? _You_ are obviously not interested in life, am I right?"

Roxas scoffed one last time and before he forcefully pushed away from the brick wall he mumbled, "You don't know anything." But a sudden answer from the guy behind him once more stopped him from reaching the door.

"Do _you_?"

Time froze for a while, leaving Roxas to stare at his breath coming out in puffs in front of his face. For all he knew, the guy could have already jumped. _He_ could've jumped if he wasn't so curious, so concerned. He blinked and slowly his head began to rise at the sound of sirens wailing in the distance. They _could've_ been coming for him, had he jumped. He suddenly grew frightened at the thought.

"Well, that blows this chance," the redhead spoke up, scratching behind his head disappointedly. "Maybe next week'll be better. Much better." He turned on his heel and casually walked up to the turned back of Roxas, only stopping when Roxas twitched ever so slightly. He smiled. Then waited.

"I'm Axel. Something tells me that we're gonna be meeting up here a lot, dontchathink?"

Roxas at first disregarded that Axel had said anything _in that way _to him. He made it seem as if they were friends ever since they were in the womb. But whatever, he thought. He's probably just another druggy. Give him a week and he'll be on the news as a dead guy in a DUI car crash. His fingers twitched in his pockets and with a cautious look over his shoulder, he saw the man's face for the first time and he swore that he'd never seen someone glow that much in a _long_, long while.

"Roxas," he muttered. "My name's Roxas."

Axel's cocky smile widened and he flicked a small silver hoop earring jauntily on his left ear when he replied, "Hey, Roxas. Nice to meet you. Can you tell me something? You afraid of heights?"

And Roxas wondered, as he opened the door without returning an answer, how did he _know _to ask that? He was afraid that this night and the ones following would remain very, VERY unlucky.

* * *

**once again i ask: loved it? hated it? hey, why not review it?**

**and that wraps up the first chapter! was that a cliffhangerish ending? ...ah well. i had to do it. XD i'm looking forward to to working on this one along with the other stories that i've posted here and haven't updarted in...ok...a while? DX**

**i'm reading huckleberry finn for school and it inspired me greatly to write tonight...even though i'm banned from the comp right now. DX i had a snow day today. can you believe that? me and my dad drove to school and we were nearly to the entrance when me madre calls and says that the website said that school WAS CLOSED DUE TO ICY CONDITIONS. i was like: holy...shit. -makes uturn- DX**

**...save me...I'M ON INTERNET DEPRIVATION.**

**_are YOU afraid of heights?  
kokoro77_**


	2. Walk Before You Run

**Author's note: finals are over. but strangely my stress isn't gone, and i can't figure out why in the nation it hasn't. i just feel so bipolar now-a-days. again, what's the reason? beats me. with that said, i expressed a great deal of confusion in the chapter you are hopefully going to enjoy below. i wish there was a magical way that i could incoorperate a message into this note that will enter your subconcious and tell/command you to read and enjoy this chapter. but of course i can't do that. forcing people isn't very nice is it?**

**so go on ahead and dive into this text. oh, yeah. and it'll be loads of fun for you. all the suicide and crazy redheaded-ness that you'd need in your lifetime. it'll be fun. trust me. /subconcious brain-ninja-ing**

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Chapter 2: Walk Before You Run

Hayner, Roxas decided, was the single most aggravating person in the universe - born and raised to torture people senseless until they begged for death. It just seemed that everything he did managed to beat Roxas back and forth and back and forth and _back and forth. _Sometimes he wondered if Hayner took pleasure in whacking him around like a ping pong – or rather, if the whole _world_ loved it.

And the two were best friends. Roxas started to wonder, as he began restocking the freezer in the back, how _exactly_ that happened. Perhaps it was about time he started looking for a new best friend. That would still be pointless. He'd just end up losing them anyway.

He shrugged it off and after wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, slumped down on a box of Sea Salt Ice Cream. As usual, Hayner wasn't doing _squat_ but instead was entertaining himself with last year's special edition of Playboy while chuckling to himself on each page turn. Ever since he turned himself into a Frat Boy he'd gone under the influence of vomit-worthy women.

Gag.

"So how'd those plans of yours go yesterday, Rox?" Hayner called from behind the register.

"Not exactly how I thought they would. But, hey, I'm not giving up."

"What, you're _still_ doing – what _exactly_ are you doing again? Ha, lookit the tan on _her_."

Roxas rolled his eyes and stood up from the box to leave the brutally cold room. As if Hayner would understand, he thought. He walked back behind the counter with one stick of Sea Salt Ice Cream in hand and had to mentally slap himself for entering at one _totally_ wrong moment. Lo-and-behold there was Hayner, butt glued to his favorite cardboard box while he was holding a picture of a woman wearing literally nothing more than two strings on her body in front of his face. At least he wasn't jacking off like last time.

"Oh, I _knew_ you'd come crawling back," he said, running a hand through his curly hair while looking up at Roxas for only a second.

Roxas smirked coldly down at him. "You're awful pink in the face. See, this is the one reason why I quit, man: to get _you_ off of your sorry ass so you can start _working _for a change, got it?"

"Whatev," Hayner huffed and shook the magazine like the morning newspaper. "Might as well take a whole box of that ice cream back there. Soon as you walk outta here your life of free desserts goes down the crapper. Know what I mean?"

That was true...and Sea Salt Ice Cream _was_ like his only love. Sweet Sea Salt Ice Cream...the one and only treat for a good boy such as himself.

And that's when he got to rethinking about the relationships he held. Well, Hayner, for one, had been his best friend ever since they were teeny. Olette he'd met his first day of kindergarten. Pence he'd stumbled into on the first day of first grade. All their parents were chill with him and trusted him save for Pence's mom who recently went senile and always took him for a crook.

The boss was a jackass. He was Seifer's dad. Seifer was also a jackass. Roxas figured it ran in the family. The little old lady that lived a block away liked to lecture Roxas about abstinence. Selfie was a funny girl. She liked to skip rope and tell Roxas about that one time she spotted a cloud that looked an awful lot like so-and-so. There was one nerd that wandered around Sunset Hill who would approach random people so he could tell them his story about how he and his wife would make-out up there when they were teens.

Family. He couldn't think much of family, sad to say. But somewhere out there he had a brother. That much he _could_ say.

Those were the people he knew. And they would remain the _only_ people on that list.

Sighing quietly, Roxas decided to refrain from grabbing a box full of ice pops and instead started sauntering off. The voice of Hayner oo-ing and aw-ing wasn't planning on leaving his head anytime soon.

"Yo, Roxas!"

Roxas spun back around toward the sweet shop and blinked curiously when he saw Hayner waving at him from behind the counter. "What?"

"Tomorrow, you and me gotta get together with the guys and hang out. The trains run free on Sundays, remember? Come on, we can celebrate you quitting your first job! There's a spot at the beach with your name on it!"

A slow smile crept on the blonde's face when he waved back. "Right. I'll remember!" Of course he'd _remember_. He just wouldn't take any action after that. It was sorta sad, seeing his friend bouncing up and down after he'd agreed to another play date. But the thing was, if he were to be with Hayner, with all those people he'd grown to love and hate, he'd start _caring_. And when he'd start to care, it'd make his chances at jumping again pretty slim.

He needed a clear mind. He needed to breathe and take _one step_. He couldn't allow friends and what little family he had left to obscure his vision.

That's when it hit him - as he once again turned the corner in hopes that it would be his last time – there was still someone else with the same vision as him. Just last night, he'd started another relationship with someone very out of the ordinary. What was his name again? Well, he thought about it – for about a second or two – paced around as he thought about it – for about a mile or so – and after stupidly tripping on a brick, remembered.

And Roxas continued to repeat the guy's name over and over until his tongue grew numb from muttering with the Sea Salt Pop in his mouth. "Hm, I wonder if you like ice cream, Axel? Nah."

xxXXxx

Maybe Roxas would've done well to flat out forget the redhead's name. Now it just wouldn't _leave_. Axel, Axel, Axel. The sun had set and he still couldn't forget. He hadn't seen Axel for a full day, which was an awful lot of time for him. Normally he saw every single person he knew everyday in Twilight Town. He'd just seen the little old lady sweeping the floor under her welcome mat. He saw Olette and Pence in the shopping district, but didn't address them.

For a minute, Roxas felt worried that Axel could have jumped last night when he'd gone. But that feeling subsided when he thought about the luck that would come out of that. With one obstacle thrown away, Roxas' chances of being alone to jump would increase. He quickly tossed the stick of his _third_ ice cream in a nearby trashcan and with back pressed against a brick wall he raised his eyes and once again they fell upon that old building.

It was just as cold as ever tonight. The wind was blowing faintly from right to left, making Roxas' bangs push away from his eyes. For some reason he figured that wearing a jacket would be smart so he casually stopped by his apartment, pulled out his favorite one from the closet – white with a yellow star on the hood – and shut off the light.

With favorite jacket on, Roxas inhaled sharply and didn't bother to look both ways when he carelessly crossed the street. There really was no point in watching out for some drunkard speeding down the road. Safety wasn't an issue.

Roxas took to the right of the building and into an alley where a rusty fire escape hovered over a well hidden, iron door. It had taken him a while to figure out how to open the damn thing when he first got to the building to check it out, but he eventually discovered that jiggling the handle four and a half times made it push open.

Yes. Four and a half times.

And so he turned the handle, tiptoed into the freezing building, shut the door behind him, made for the staircase and started to climb to the rooftop again. Once he'd reached the seventh story the town had already fallen into nighttime. With anxious fingers he pushed on the just as rusty door and stumbled out into the freezing cold night.

He narrowed his eyes as he made his way to the same corner he'd picked last night. He looked left, then right, then finally downward where he spotted nothing but pitch black in an alleyway. Orange streetlights were just beginning to flicker on in the street and blocks away yellow lights began flooding windows and billboards.

"Alright, Roxas. You can't stand here for a half hour like last time. Don't even _think_. Just clear your head and—"

Roxas bit his lips together and squeezed his eyes shut. Trying to get into a blank state of mind was harder than he thought, especially now that he'd been thinking so much more than usual. And what was worse: one little word (or name, rather) was refusing to leave his brain.

_Axel, Axel, AXEL. _

Roxas groaned in frustration and forced his eyes open to see that he'd been staring straight up at the sky. The clock tower in the distance rang eight times, signaling to the whole town that eight o'clock was now. Perfect. Maybe he should consider making eight his new lucky number. Nah.

Luck was nothing but a gyp.

"Well, been nice knowin' ya, you old tower." Just as if he was getting ready to dive feet first into water, Roxas held his breath, closed his eyes once more and bent his knees for a jump. This was it. He was going to make his big exit. A big "ker-splat" was awaiting seven stories below. And here's Roxas for the dismount...

_"Mama...just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama—" _

"What-the-_hell_?" Roxas spat, slowly opening his eyes. So much for keeping a clear mind. Who in their right mind decided it was alright to _sing_ during his moment of peace, zen and suicide? And why now? Why at this time of night? _Why that song choice_? Once again failing to keep a straight mind, Roxas first looked out over the town with eyebrows furrowed angrily. When he found the fucktard that ruined his moment...

"_Mama ooo...didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on—"_

Behind! After hearing those guitar strums, Roxas instantaneously spun around on his heel and with his breath coming out in strangled puffs he frantically stared around before he spotted the guitarist on the other side of the rooftop. He felt like pulling his hair out after seeing them.

"Who in their bloody mind plays the fucking guitar on the fucking roof at eight in the _fucking _night?" Roxas grumbled while running a hand through his hair. Normally, eight in the fucking morning would have driven people mad...

Apparently Axel didn't like to follow that normality. He just _sat _there across the way, happily strumming with his fingers on a guitar with only five strings. His head was raised to stare at the buildings at Roxas' right, even though there truly was no importance in them. Roxas heavily brought a foot down when he stepped away from the edge and almost charged at the bastard.

"Hey!" he screeched, placing both of his clenched hands on his hips after. Axel barely budged at first but after another stamp from Roxas' foot his head turned in the blonde's direction. The lack of light succeeded in covering the redhead's gorgeous smile from Roxas' fiery eyes.

"You again?" Axel called out.

Roxas scoffed harshly and rolled his eyes. "How many times are we going to go through this? Huh? Look, could you just-could you just maybe _leave me alone_ for a night? Hm? I'm busy."

Axel shook his head, still smiling, and turned his head down when he ran a thumb down on the five strings. Surprisingly, the instrument still sounded normal despite that it was missing one string.

"Everyone's busy now-a-days. Like me. I'm busy strumming over here and I'm not asking you to move _your_ ass, am I?"

"You're _insane_," Roxas hissed. "Weren't you planning on dying too?" With two hands he motioned toward the building across the street that he'd met Axel on. "_There's_ the building."

Once again Axel had to scoff. He just _had _to scoff at the disgruntled blondie throwing a temper tantrum and getting his panties up in a bunch. He couldn't help it. The silver hoop earring on his left ear jumped with each strum and the muscles in his exposed arms tensed each time his fingers slid up and down the handle. He went back to strumming notes on the guitar nonchalantly as Roxas continued to glare at him with dangerous intentions in mind.

"I'm aware. But I'd rather play guitar tonight. It's Saturday, don't you know that? What're you doing here on a Saturday night? Don't got a sweetie to get freaky with, do ya?"

Roxas' throat shook and he had to swallow to prevent himself from stuttering. "...Saturday's no different than the rest of the week."

"You say that now 'cause you're depressed. And when you're down in the dumps _everything's_ negative in your eyes, right? Think about it! People have labeled Saturday and Sunday as the 'weekend' but Saturday really _is_ the one and only day out of the two that's weekend-ish. Lay back and enjoy it, Roxas."

Roxas' eyebrows twitched when he heard Axel let out a drawl on his name. It was strange hearing him say it. The two had only met last night and he never expected to be on a first name basis at all. He held his tongue and hoped that silence would speak for him. Axel wasn't one to understand the silent treatment, though. He continued to make small talk over his guitar playing.

"I've been up here since five, you know that? I live right across the street in _that_ _building _over there." Using his chin, Axel pointed out the same building that he'd been trying to jump from. All the lights in the building were off save for one on the sixth story. "That's my place. All the neighbors are assholes. Psh. None of 'em would know a good guitar strum if it ran up behind 'em and bit 'em in the ass. That's why I play over here."

Roxas had a hand at his forehead and slowly began massaging his temples. "That's great..." he said sarcastically.

"Isn't it? I thought so." With a fast strum on the guitar, Axel started singing the last part of the song he'd started earlier. Something about living and dying and saying goodbye to people. All that time, Roxas listened quietly, and Axel knew. When the redhead had finished his little ballad, he lifted the guitar from his lap and wrapped it around his arm as he stood from the edge. Roxas watched him intently from the corner of his eyes.

Finally, he thought. Maybe he'd get the chance to be _alone_.

Once he'd stood up, faint orange light from the streets revealed what the redhead was wearing: a black, sleeveless hoodie, skinny fit jeans with a chain dangling from the right pocket and a pair of white and black DC shoes which were left untied. Axel cracked his neck once and while holding onto the strap of the guitar strolled over to Roxas' side of the roof.

"Guess I'll leave you to enjoy the rest of your Saturday."

"Yeah. You do that," Roxas mumbled, getting ready to turn his back before Axel got the chance to come within four feet of him.

"That's a nice jacket you've got."

"Thanks..."

"Funny. You weren't wearing one _last_ night, you know."

"_Yes._ I know."

"That'd be sad if you ended up ruining it."

"You know what--?"

"Oh, and just FYI, I'd suggest getting used to the roof before you jump. Try walking up to the edge and _then_ run just to get the feel."

"Isn't that what _you've _been doing? Doesn't look like it's been working." Roxas turned halfway to stare unsympathetically at Axel who just met that stare with a friendly smirk. He had a thumb hooked in his pocket when he started to walk away backwards. He really was weird...

"See, I _told_ you we'd be meeting up here often. Now we'll start seein' more of each other. We can help each other out with this whole dying thing." Somehow he'd made something so morbid sound as pleasant as a topic in a book club meeting. But for some reason Roxas believed those words. His stomach turned when he thought about them more and it was then that he realized that he hadn't eaten anything more than three ice cream bars and bag of chips over the course of two days.

And as hard as he tried to stop it, his tummy went on growling anyway.

"Sounds like you've got an issue over there, ey?"

Roxas quickly grabbed at the front of his jacket and started fisting his stomach. "Do not."

Axel crossed his arms over the guitar strap and suddenly stopped walking backwards. Roxas couldn't believe how strongly the guy's green eyes flashed. He figured that Axel had suddenly thought up something that he for sure wasn't going to like _at all_. Sure enough, Axel took some steps forward with an extended hand toward the starving and disgruntled boy.

Roxas first stared at the redhead's open palm strangely before asking, "What?" harshly.

"Come on. You can't die without eatin' somethin'."

"Where was the sense in that sentence?"

"See! You're so starving you can't even figure out what I just said."

"Axel, could you please just—"

"Come _on_. I _told_ you we can help each other out, _right_? There's a place down the street. Not half bad, actually. Can't have ya bein' all skin and bones." With that said, Axel's extended hand moved closer to Roxas until Roxas felt the tips of his fingers tap the sleeve of his jacket. He twitched which nearly caused him to topple over the edge. And just like that, fear returned and he jumped away before he fell. Once again, he'd been saved when he didn't want to be. He just couldn't find it in him to try again; he was shaking too much.

"What, you comin'?"

What other choice did he have? The blonde rolled his eyes shortly and after shoving his hands into his jacket pockets started walking at a fast pace so he was walking ahead of Axel. He didn't want to suffer looking at a smart-ass, _happy_ face. "Yeah, yeah. I'm goin', I'm goin'." Two nights and He. Was. Still. Alive. Damn.

xxXXxx

"I still don't get why you ordered from the freakin' kids' menu."

Roxas bit into another French fry and still didn't turn his head. Yeah, he'd ordered from the kids menu, but only because it was cheap and secretly the kidsized chicken fingers were the exact same as the adult version...just with more pieces. It was life's little secret which society failed to discover. He finished off the fry and pushed the red plastic plate to the side where the first plate was.

"'Cause that's how I roll," he replied. Axel scoffed. Ever since the two arrived at the 24 hour café a block away, Roxas couldn't help but watch his acquaintance in the corner of his eyes. All that time, Roxas noticed that he never—not once—erased that smile. It was honestly pissing him off. He set down a five dollar bill tip on the counter, making sure to slam it down hard.

"Do you have to smile like that all the time?" he asked.

Axel shrugged and sighed heavily. The burger he'd gotten was still sitting in front of him with barely half of it missing. No wonder he was so damn skinny.

"I don't _have_ to. It's not _required_."

"That's not what I meant."

"You're too much, Roxas!" Axel raised a hand and slapped it once against Roxas' slumped back to which the blonde cried out. Thankfully there wasn't anyone else in the café at the time so he didn't have to worry about being embarrassed. Violated! Violated! He immediately swung his legs to the right of the stool he'd been sitting on and stood. Why was it that the stomach had to eradicate his brain?

"I'm gonna go."

Axel swiveled in his chair and propped his feet up on the bottom of the counter. "Really? Kinda early."

"Psh, yeah. To you. It's too late for _me_. You think I can just jump now? There're people out on the streets this time a' night!"

To that Axel shrugged and after a final spin on his chair he slid the cash on the counter underneath Roxas' plate and stood from his spot. He had his hands in the kanga-pocket of his hoodie again when he stepped away from the counter and passed the bewildered blonde on his way to the front door.

"Don't you wanna be one of them?" he asked over his shoulder once the bell chimed over the door and a cold rush of air rushed inside. What was he thinking—being one of them? Why in the hell would Roxas even consider walking the streets at night? Twilight Town was sketchy, especially after dark. Headlights sped past the deserted café and nearly blinded him when they flashed in the window.

Roxas suddenly grew impatient and twitchy. Being in that quiet, desolate café gave him even sketchier a feeling than being outside in the nightlife. And so he walked up to the door and exited just as Axel turned the corner and broke into a brisk walk. He wasn't sure why, but he followed after him with a quickness to his step. He kept well aware of the cracks in the cement and stepped over each one with stealth while Axel just stamped on each one.

"Five bucks," Axel chortled as they approached a chain link fence. "Gave him five bucks."

Roxas' head spun. "What? Why?"

"He didn't cook the burger right. Don't count on me heading back there again."

"You are the _strangest_ guy I've ever met! I swear to god! You were supposed to pay 25!"

Axel seemingly ignored that innocuous comment and as they approached the fence's end he took a step to the right and pushed open a gate that had been left unlocked; some guy must've broke in. The area behind the long fence was dark and somehow Roxas had a feeling that it was going to lead to absolutely nowhere. But Axel didn't mind it. He clicked his tongue happily as he entered the shadowy place.

"Good riddance," Roxas gritted angrily, when in reality he had a horrible feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Seeing him leave was honestly extremely nerve-racking. But Roxas could still hear Axel's footsteps in the dark. He could barely see the redhead's mess of crimson spikes. And in a rush he was nearly sent sprawled upon the pavement when Axel ran back to the fence and latched his fingers onto the sockets.

"Fuck—"

"I'm gonna take a shortcut through here. Not gonna be a problem, right?" Axel had asked that in a slow, drawled voice that made Roxas shudder. The blonde blinked and shook his head.

"Fine. It's fine. I'll keep going this way. I'd rather have light."

"I _thought_ you might say something like that, kiddo. You know, how sure are you that at the end of that sidewalk is a safe space? Hm? How do ya know that you're not gonna get jumped or shot? You think that just 'cause there's streetlights the sidewalk's safe?"

Roxas found himself clinging onto the fence with his fingers tightened around the metal chains so hard they nearly slit through his skin. Recently he was feeling rather paranoid, and strangely terrified of even _the_ smallest incident. And then Axel came along and his abnormalities increased. Spiraling, spiraling, _and spiraling_.

"You're a really weird guy, Roxas." Axel's voice softened up only the slightest bit when he noticed Roxas' inner conflicts sketch on his face. Boy, did this kid need work. "Maybe you're the kid that'll surpass all the others I've met, you know. You know what I think?" He leaned his body against the fence—fingers still hooked onto the chains—and eyed the blonde so intently as if he were looking at him under a microscope.

"_I_ think that I've got my work cut out for me."

Roxas' narrowed, troubled eyes stared dumbfounded at Axel's face. "I really wish you'd stop talking like that."

"And I really wish you'd stop talking like that, too. You won't regret meeting me, I promise!" And like a kid ready to show off and take flight, Axel pushed away from the fence with his arms and backed away into his dark shortcut. All Roxas could think about were three things:

What he'd meant

If he should follow

and

Friend or Foe

He ran all the way home that night and crashed on his bed while still wearing that white jacket with the yellow star on the hood. He really did like that jacket, but hated it all the same. It was a nice birthday present from a nice, anonymous sender. What would the next present be? Possibly..._maybe_ tomorrow he'd find out. And he _hated_ surprises. Specifically on his birthday.

7th day of the 7th month. _Lucky, indeed_.

* * *

**i love axel. and i'm not just saying that, geez. xO this is rather...unhealthy, this "feeling" i have for him. i'll stop now before i get strapped down and shoved into a truck to the happy department.**

**just got back from watching "the other boleyn girl" with mah homegirls, and it was rather...traumatizing. i shan't give away the story AT ALL, but i will say that it is definitely the modern age soap opera...except i'm pretty sure that soap operas do not include beheading loved ones and deception that stoops down to a level so low that one needs to separate from the church.**

**...i'd say i ruined the movie in saying that. XDD**

**not that it matters. on top of all that drama, i came home to a _real_ soap opera on television in which one of the lead women dies due to cancer. and the director had all these video montages and such playing as she was dying on the beach with her head resting on her lover's shoulder. he was playing the guitar for her and...and...HFJDHASFJDKAH**

**let me just say that i have not cried in a long time. and according to dane cook, that is not healthy AT ALL. he is so inspiring! i loves me some dane cook. you know what? i think i'll stop by the store tomorrow and pick me up a copy of his DVD and CD so i don't have to resort to piracy. OH SNAP! (seriously, who _hasn't_ downloaded something illegally on the internet? ahem...kingdom hearts _fans_ and our cutscenes...oh yeah. that counts, yo. that counts.)**

**this end note has ended. happy birthday to roxas in the next chapter, yo. AH. the reno-catch-phrase-syndrome is eating me ALIVEEEEE! and axel? ooo. something fishy about his acts of singing and leading roxas away to places. B-T-W, the song he was singing--for all you non-80's people--is titled "Bohemian Rhapsody". there. you've been educated.**

**_you've been SCHOOL'D!,  
kokoro77_**


	3. You!

**Author's Note: i told you that i was crazy. I POSTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK, DAMMIT! i honestly am getting concerned with myself at the moment. what's with all this OCD and nutrition rubbish...and now UPDATING IRREGULARLY?? ay-yi-yi. what's next? ninjas?  
**

**i don't know. it's been HECTIC this past month. not school so much. family most of it. parents are just blah at the moment. sigh. you know the feeling of having people looking over your shoulder and glaring at you in such a way that you just wanna punch a baby? yeah. it's pretty extreme. i want peace!!**

**and fruit. strawberries, actually. i prefer strawberries. forgive this crazy author's note and instead enjoy roxas' semi-normal birthday bash below! adieu.**

* * *

Chapter 3: You!

Roxas would always wake up on his birthday to his mother hovering over his bed very early in the morning. Sometimes he wondered why mothers liked to do that—sacrificing about two hours of sleep to set up the kitchen downstairs in such a way that would please their birthday boy or girl. He happened to always appreciate whatever his mother would set up. Some cases there were streamers and other cases there were balloons. And if she really had enough time, there would be both _plus_ a cake with blue icing. Blue always was his favorite color.

For a while, birthdays were wonderful things. Roxas received presents stacked a mile high on top of one another and his eyes would glisten with the thought of ripping the paper to shreds in order to see the demolition lying around the living room floor. It was the one time of the year that his mother didn't scold him for trashing the place. Presents usually consisted of the usual things that young boys loved: race cars, dinosaurs, video games—anything pertaining to violence.

But for some reason the gifts grew smaller and smaller over the years. The mile of gifts suddenly shrunk to half their size and he soon discovered that he'd lost interest in materialism. So why was it that when he'd received that strange package last year in the mail he'd nearly broken down _in tears_? It must've been because it'd been his first one in five years.

The blonde woke up that morning not to the smell of coffee or wrapping paper or other birthday paraphernalia. Instead, he woke up to the strong smell of smoke that had fused into his jacket. Groaning, he sat up in bed and stared skyward. It certainly _was _hot. Psh, of course it was. It was fucking _July_. The 7th of July to be precise.

Roxas scratched behind his head, cracked his fingers and got up to saunter over to the bathroom. He figured that all he'd need to do today was go through the morning routine and keep his head shoved under his pillow. But as he just got the faucet running, he dropped his toothbrush and groaned at his disgusting reflection in the mirror.

Hadn't he promised Hayner that he'd hang out with him today? Surprises were _not_ part of the agenda today _for sure_. He still had to keep Hayner happy, didn't he? As long as Roxas was still freakin' _breathing_ on this earth, he had to make sure that other people were successful on their pursuit to happiness. How traumatic. How irksome. All those terrible words that belonged with 'how'...

Roxas resisted the urge to break his mirror and after brushing up and washing like the good boy he was, stepped away to get a good look at himself. Hopefully no one would realize that he'd slept in these damn clothes. And hopefully they wouldn't realize that it was his birthday either. The very thought of beaming faces and optimistic greeting cards made him wish, more than anything, that all he'd get that year would be something along the lines of, oh, nothing with fine print attached to it?

_Now that you're another year older, keep walking on the road ahead and keep imagining the possibilities and gifts that await you!_

Warning: Possibilities and outcomes vary depending on the person, the weather, the time of day, the day, the year, the season, the way the wind blows, the mood and choice of transportation. If you are a charlatan, please do not hesitate to get a running start from the sirens hustling up behind you. If you are a Good Samaritan, well, what more do you need than the smiling faces of those you've helped today? If you are a conformist, you probably shouldn't be bothering to read this card. If you are a nonconformist, who gives a fuck about walking on a damn road? And if you absolutely adore yourself, the future looks pretty gorgeous, now doesn't it? Of course, of course.

_Love,_

_Someone who cares about you_

Warning: Excuse me, excuse me. How do you know that they really _do_ if you didn't actually hear them saying this heartfelt note? Love? Hm. Do they _really_? They must assume that you're _overjoyed_ that you're another year older. And that's why they care. They care about your health and slowly deteriorating self, that's what. Obviously you're falling apart in their eyes.

PS: Happy Birthday

Warning: _Are_ you happy?

Simple. Little. Birthday. Card.

Roxas slammed the door shut and completely "forgot" to check the mail on his way out of the building.

xxXXxx

"Ah, _there's_ the birthday boy!"

"Happy birthday, Roxas!"

"Another year older, man! You must feel amazing!"

"Yeah, really! _Twenty two _looks great on ya. No joke!"

Gee. Funny how things happened to work that way.

It took him a while, but Roxas quirked a smile and brought a shaky hand to the top of his head where he tried flattening down his untamed hair. He'd gone to the top of the clock tower in hopes of finding Hayner there—sitting by himself with nothing more than a dirty magazine in his lap and two Popsicles. Nope. Guess not.

Olette was always a pretty girl. Prettier than most, actually. Roxas figured that it was more of her brains than her fashion sense that got his attention. He found that he was closest to her more than any other girl in the world. She was never really into the latest trends, and more than anything she'd like to bury her nose in the latest news and books. Pence, on the other hand, completely disregarded the latter. His brain revolved around technology and, like Hayner, centerfolds. Both guys were pretty much dopes.

"Come on, Roxas. Don't act all surprised like that," Olette chuckled while wrapping her lanky arms around one of Roxas'. "Hayner told us that you knew to come up here."

"Y-yeah. I just didn't—"

"What? Didn't think that we'd remember?" Hayner asked over his shoulder after tossing the wrapper of one Popsicle off the edge of the tower. Roxas watched it flutter in the wind before it disappeared out of sight. He should've run after it in mid-fall. Littering _was_ bad, anyway.

"Geez, Roxas. Way to put your faith in your friends!"

Roxas shook both of his hands in front of him and chuckled nervously. "No, no!"

Olette pulled him down beside her on the edge of the tower and just like that the whole gang was pretty much together again. Just like the good ol' days. You know, before Roxas' fantasies of being able to fly transitioned into fantasies of being able to drop like a rock. He pulled the hood of his star sweater closer to his neck after feeling the cold wind whip at his face.

"I take it that you didn't check your mail today, did you?" Olette suddenly asked after neatly licking her Popsicle. When Roxas didn't respond right away, both Hayner and Pence glanced over at him in bewilderment. There was a high possibility of a guilt trip ahead, wasn't there?

He swallowed and stopped unwrapping the Sea Salt Pop. "Sorry," he muttered to his lap. Pence slapped a firm hand on his shoulder and gave him a supportive shake. These past years sure made Pence one strong guy; another shake like that and Roxas would've had one dislocated shoulder. Roxas rolled his arm and tried to laugh the pain off. Ha-ha-ow-ha-ha-ha!

"Just check later, ok?" Olette chirruped upon seeing the look on Roxas' face.

"Yeah. Promise." He'd sure been making a lot of promises lately. He couldn't hold anymore promises with the thought that guilt would follow him like a dark shadow after he'd become a ghost.

Hayner slipped the clean Popsicle stick out of his mouth and shook it at the three of them as he spoke. "Soon as we get down from here, we're heading for the beach. Deal?"

Olette nodded happily and kicked her bare feet over the edge of the tower while Pence gave Roxas another violent shake with his hand. And all Roxas could do was sit there quietly and in utter regret before he too nodded up at his best friend.

"The train'll leave soon so we gotta go!" Hayner said, standing up.

"Here, Pence," Roxas said sadly while offering up his unopened Popsicle to his right. "You take it." He ignored the sudden gibberish that came out of Pence's mouth and quickly shoved the thing into his lap. He stood up after that and was the first to head for the concealed door hidden in the shadows of the towers back wall.

"Wait! Hold up, Roxas!"

He glanced over his shoulder once when he heard Hayner's outburst. Soon his best friend's arm was flung around his neck and he was pulled into step with his irrepressible letch of a buddy. Olette and Pence just giggled uncontrollably behind them.

Just like the good ol' days...

xxXXxx

"Hey, yo, Olette! Pass the ball over here, will ya?"

Roxas couldn't believe that Olette even _bothered_ to buy Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb a beach ball _just_ for this occasion. Honestly, as flattering as that was, he felt bad for her. Ever since they semi-moved out of their parents' lives, she basically upheld responsibility for them. If Hayner got drunk and ended up a hobo on the side of the street one Saturday night, it was Olette's job to walk out _alone_ at three in the morning to find him.

Pity, pity, pity.

He watched the rainbow colored beach ball hover aimlessly in the orange sky after Olette blew it up and tossed it in Hayner's direction. He watched it fly up and over the volleyball net towards the waiting hands of both his best pals in the world, each one whooping and having the time of their lives. How cute. It was like watching dogs at the park. Kinda.

Sitting under the umbrella that Olette had propped up in the sand—in case of the deadly skin attack by the dreaded sun—Roxas brushed the sand away from between his toes and shifted uneasily on the blue blanket below him.

Geez. To think that he had to abandon his favorite star sweater for, well, beach shorts. Not only was it awkward wearing beach trunks for the first time in five years, but it was hella crazy that he had to borrow a pair from Hayner's cursed drawers from hell. That's right. Who _knew_ what shit Hayner had the gall to toss in there _aside_ from clothes? He tried not to think about it too much and instead tried to enjoy the sun that always appeared frozen in the summer sky.

"Roxas! Come on! The water's great over here!" Olette called out to him from the shallow end of the water, cajoling him with soft kicks and playful slaps at the waters surface. He smiled and leaned against the pole of the umbrella.

"Y-yeah! I'll follow you in a bit, 'kay?"

She cocked her head slightly and shrugged. "Suit yourself!" With that, she bent down to collect abandoned shells and coral left behind by the tide. He used to like doing that sort of thing...

If there were a time in which he could have an ice cream, it'd be _now_. He started to regret passing his to Pence back at the clock tower and he grumbled under his breath—calling himself names that probably didn't exist in any language, even alien. What was _wrong_ he wondered? He always loved the beach. The smell, the feel and even the beach hogs. Suddenly there wasn't that same sensation he used to have as a kid. It was pretty much just a patch of sand and sand crabs, both of which got caught in your sandals and made you bitch and moan.

"Service!"

"Hey, watch it, Hayner! You remember last time you—"

"I said _service_!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Ah. See? Now the wind blew it into the parking lot."

"Nice going, Hayner," Olette chuckled, straightening up with one hand propped on her hip. At first, Roxas only addressed the situation by laughing quietly and pitying the one of them that would end up having to climb the ridge to retrieve the ball. And then it hit him. Were they all fucking _staring_ at him? Ah, crap.

Olette was the first to draw a smile on her face. At least it wasn't as condescending as the other twos'. But there was always something about the way girls asked him for favors. And the outcome was always girls 1, Roxas 0. Their _smiles_ and their _batting of the eyelashes_. Geez. On top of all that, she had to be wearing a nice swim suit...

She quickly ran out of the water and made her way to the bottom of the sandy hill where he had set up base camp. Once there, she ducked her head so she could take a quick peek into his umbrella hideaway. With her fingers interlaced, she asked him. In _that_ voice again.

"Roxas...? Could you maybe head up to the parking lot for us? The ball—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he called out without letting her finish. "Just gimme a sec." Girls and their...their magical powers.

"Way t' be a sport, birthday boy!"

"Oh, will you give it a _rest_ with the birthday boy, Hayner?" Roxas cursed between his teeth as he stood from his place of refuge. He didn't bother slipping on his sandals. He simply sauntered toward the steep stairway from hell that led up to the lot, and hid his tormented face from his party. Ch. Birthday boy.

It only sounded right when dads would call their sons that. Normally it wouldn't have bothered him...and yet...whatever.

In the _best_ mood of his life, Roxas finally made it to the top of the stairs and only with a couple of splinters lodged into his feet. The sun was beating down on his exposed back, and all around him the air was heavy with summer. It sure stung when he placed his feet on the pavement of the parking lot, but he'd get used to it eventually.

"How in the heck does a beach ball get all the way up here? Honestly."

There it was—the lone beach ball that had escaped its pain and suffering session on the beach. Yeah. Maybe all it wanted was to take it easy. Roxas was _well _aware with the feeling. Getting hit back and forth got boring and pretty useless after the first three hits. He spotted it in the middle of the lot, rolling slightly, and started to walk toward it when—

Pause.

What's this...?

Why were so many of these meetings coincidental?

"Wh_at_?" he blurted out _slowly _with one foot in mid-step. Upon hearing the blonde's question, a pair of piercing green eyes blinked ever-so slowly and flicked in the direction of the sound. Oh, now Roxas was _really_ regretting falling for Olette's manipulation. "Axel?"

Axel—clad in black swim trunks—turned from the frozen sun to his supposed "suicide buddy" who was standing stone-still at the other end of the lot. Oh, so he wasn't wearing a shirt _and_ shoes now? What a strange boy. Didn't he ever leave the house in a completed outfit? It wasn't _that_ bothersome. Just strange. Hm.

He smirked and waved dorkishly. "Hey! This yours?" he kicked the ball with the front of his foot so that it went rolling in the opposite direction. Roxas reacted instantly and ran forward before it rolled under a car. Luckily, he stopped it with one foot and after bending down to pick it up he clutched onto it so tightly it could've popped.

"Watch it!"

The redhead scratched behind his head. "Sorry." He then interlaced his fingers behind his head and peered down at the blonde with, once again, curious eyes. "What brings you to the beach, Roxas?"

Roxas cradled the ball under one arm and didn't look at Axel when he answered. "I'm...I-I'm just—"

"Oh, those your buds down there?"

"Y-yeah."

"Huh. What're you doin' hangin' 'round with 'em?"

"I just—"

"Here _I_ was thinkin' that you wouldn't bother getting _involved_ with people anymore. You know. 'Cause when you end up trying to _die_ again and all—"

"H-hey! Sh-shhh! You want them t' hear you?" Roxas held a shaking hand up to Axel's face to shut him up and peered over his shoulder and over the ledge where he saw the three of them waiting in the volleyball court. Axel's smile started to fade while his eyebrows rose in thought.

"Ah...I get it. They don't know about your life getting messed up, do they?"

Slightly taken aback, Roxas' eyes widened and all he could do was keep his mouth hanging open should a coherent answer decide that it wanted to smack Axel upside the head. But all he could muster were strange frog noises in the back of his throat. All that time, Axel continued to stare intently at him. As to if he was _enjoying_ watching Roxas disorientated or if he was confused himself, Roxas wasn't sure.

"They...they don't need t' know." And that was the truth. They really didn't. No one needed to know.

_"Hey, Rox. This a friend of yours?"_

Speak of the devil. "Hayner."

"Hayner?" Axel echoed, watching the _other_ blonde boy stride right up to Roxas' side in a semi-protective manner. He was just meeting so many interesting blonde people now-a-days. How funny. He chuckled in spite of himself and Roxas shot him a distant glare.

"I got the ball back." Roxas tossed the beach ball in his friend's direction, disregarding Axel's existence at the moment. Hayner's eyes, even while he caught the ball, never left Axel for a second. He was just a territorial dope that way.

Hm. Not a very nice blondie, now is he? From the looks of things, Axel's visit was pretty much over. He'd just have to go swimming some other time. Or he'd just hit the bathtub later on that night. He turned to Roxas, gave him a tiny salute and Roxas swore that he spotted a wink flicker once in his eye. What was his _deal_? Stalker. He was a freakin' stalker.

"Catch you kids around." With that, the redhead turned on his heel and walked calmly off the premises. He was _awful_ collected for a guy that looked like he lived life on the edge.

"What a creeper."

Roxas didn't respond.

"Seen him around the marketplace a couple of times. Always askin' 'round for weird things. He's usually hangin' 'round the place on Saturday mornings when the crowds are just startin' t' get pretty big. You've missed loadsa stuff since you quit, you know. Other times he comes by when you're stockin' the back."

Roxas didn't respond. Uh-huh. Big deal.

But, seriously. What a weird guy.

"But whatever. Let's head back down, huh? Your birthday ain't over yet!"

But as far as Roxas was concerned, it was never around to begin with. Ok, ok, so he was twenty two now. Legal drinking age and all that. Fan_tas_tic. He kept the thought of his birthday in the back of his head for a while. For some reason, there was something awfully intriguing about how Axel would pop out of _nowhere_. Creepy, compulsive and darn right cracked, but strangely interesting all the same. As Hayner turned and ran for the stairs, he kept a close watch on Axel's disappearing body down the road.

He missed his star sweater.

xxXXxx

It was just one birthday surprise after another. First, he'd forgotten that it was a day to celebrate. Second, it was a sunny day. Third, the wind was on minimum. Fourth, there were actually _people walking_ on the sidewalk. Fifth, the neighbors in the complex were keeping to themselves. Sixth, his boss wasn't a prick when he'd spotted Roxas walking past the sweets shop on his way back home. Seventh, Axel showed his face. Again. Eighth...

Eighth, a little brown package was waiting in his mailbox. Amongst all the junk mail and stuff, that is. And while _all_ of the contents in his mailbox were typically bad things, Roxas just couldn't stop staring at the brown package with such intent and with such unseen approbation. He didn't smile when he opened the box and pulled it out. He just stood there—in Hayner's beach shorts and his star sweater—holding it for at least longer than a full minute before he shut the tiny grey door and headed for the staircase to the upper floor apartments.

Maybe it was his ninth surprise that he'd bothered to listen to Olette in opening his mailbox.

Olette _had_ said to check his mail. He wondered if she had a greeting card in there as well. Or maybe it was just a lousy must-see VHS that those stupid telemarketers sent to their "respected customers". Honestly. Who still _owned_ a VHS player anyway?

Scoffing once, Roxas started to dig into his pocket for the key that would unlock the glass door to the stairs, only to have them slip through his fingers as soon as he pulled them out.

"Ah, shit." He bended over to pick them up. No time for this, no time for this.

And then, the tenth surprise poked its head around the corner. It'd been waiting there—watching through beady yellow eyes and clutching the sharp corner of the wall with twitching, long fingers. How Roxas _detested _surprises. Especially when they were the bad flavored kind.

With his package, crap-mail and keys still in his hands, he turned halfway around to meet said nasty surprise and what it had to offer. Number ten was a naughty, _bad_,_ bad_ egg. Uh-oh.

"Hey, kiddo. How's 'bout openin' th' door, 'uh? I gots business up on that there third floor, ya get me?"

Roxas' feet stayed glued to the floor and while his heart was starting to pulse uncontrollably, his facial expression remained steady. He stared blankly into the face of three goons standing outside the glass door, which separated the bad streets of Twilight Town's nightlife from his safe haven in the brick complex. Of course he knew that this was a bad part of town and _of course_ he knew that there'd been cases like this happening _all the time_.

That was pretty much it.

The first goon that addressed him pulled the beanie over his brows and started to rap the glass with the tip of a black and silver pistol. Poor little Roxas' heart was about ready to snap in two. But why? Oh, come on. He's destined to die and he wants it! Oh. That's right. Dying by the hand of someone else doesn't count.

"You 'ear me in dere? Open up th' door, kid."

He just about had the key lodged in the socket, but his fingers were shaking too much. Keep it together, keep it together. "W-what kinda business do you have up there anyway?"

"Don't think that's none yer business."

Chick-chick-_click_. Ah, sweet victory. _That's_ the sound that he'd wanted to hear! The key made it into the door and finally he could turn it and get the dang door open. Confident that he could slip away and dodge the bullet for the night, Roxas pulled a shaky smile on his face and shifted his feet only slightly against the wet floor. 1...2...

"_I said open it, damn you!_"

"You go t' hell!" Roxas screeched that so loudly he nearly forgot that he had to run. He was pretty sure that words could drive people away, and by the time he heard the glass cracking he realized that he _must_ be crazy. "Shit!" The floor felt like it slipped away from underneath him and suddenly the dark room turned absolutely pitch black. He couldn't even feel the things in his hands anymore. The package went sliding across the floor, and he was left to stupidly grope around for it even as two of the three unknown men kicked and swore at his head.

"Hold 'im down!"

"Ya think yer pretty smart, eh?! This make ya feel smart? 'Uh?!"

With each blunt kick to his head and torso, Roxas' world grew smaller and smaller. He heard something cracking, and because he'd lost so much sense he couldn't figure out what it was. As much as he was a suicidal kid, he just didn't _want _to die. Not this way, at least. Not this way! And not now! Of all times! It was past 8 o'clock. Something hot was already dripping from the side of his forehead, making its way slowly down his cheek and onto the tips of his fingers.

He felt around for the package. His keys. They all _belonged _to him. And these dopes weren't gonna take them! He just couldn't help himself. They were gonna shoot him...were they really?

He let out several grunts and screams when the kicks started to actually hurt and when his body told his mind that he didn't want them to come anymore. Stop it, stop it, stop—

_"Hey, he's got nothin'."_

_"Ditch 'im b'for them cops come."_

Last thing he remembered was the feeling of hot and sticky running down his head and leaving his body dry. _Don't leave. You _belong_ to me_. It all belonged to him. They were important...they were—but by then, Roxas simply couldn't remember what in the world he was talking about. Maybe he could sleep on the thought. Then again, his head hurt too much.

In forever later, he woke up to a red ceiling. Funny. He couldn't remember having a red ceiling in his apartment. Baffled and feeling as if an anvil had been dropped on his head, he tried to recall things that seemed impossible. After that failure, he could only to tell himself in a groggy voice:

"...shouldn't've listened to her..." Ah, that's right. He remembered Olette's face and opening his mailbox. And then he'd been pushed around for what reason? Geez. What a _night_.

It seemed that someone else was aware of his little predicament as well. While his eyesight remained heavily fogged, Roxas ' view of the red ceiling was blocked by the shadow of whomever had spoken to him. _"Rough night?" _Their voice drilled sharply into his temples and tugged at the back of his eyelids. But the familiarity of the voice somehow caused the pain to feel a little less tormenting. _A little less tormenting_? How often did this happen?

Wait.

_You_...You_? Did...you save me?_

* * *

**yeah, yeah, cut to the chase, will ya, roxas? geez. you schizophrenic creeper you...talking all of this nonsense. silly boy! _i hate continuity..._  
**

**and axel...you're a funny boy, too! what do you have planned for roxas _now_? (insert image of axel and black swim trunks) oh. snap. xO  
**

**i ADORE writing stories like this. it boggles my mind and makes me think quite a bit. and finally i had the motivation to write tonight! well, school is coming up tomorrow. sigh. education, my ass. anyway, summer is around the corner. and as you know, it's seriously MY SEASON. it's like christmas...for three months. with hotness and pina coladas. ahh. by the way...yu gi oh the abridged series is seriously...GODLY. i'll be watching more of that stuff this summer as well. xD  
**

**do you sense the axel roxas bonding coming up soon? it should come up on those handy radars of yours, mind you. teehee. i tried to save roxas from the bad men. but someone beat me to it. _and it might not be who you think it is_.**

_**or, IS it?  
kokoro77**_


	4. And So THIS Happened

**Author's Note: craaaaaaaaaaaaaaap. (longest crap EVAR? ah, i just lawl'd xO)**

**no, really, crap! it's been a long time, you guys! i'm so sorry! this time, my reason for not updating a bit quicker is...uhm...have you ever heard of an after school hangover? ok, so i guess i made that one up...but it seems to make sense, doesn't it? i mean, once school's over, it still happens to have this freakin' EFFECT on my body! my body keeps thinking it's the SCHOOL YEAR! and i can't get out of that mode until, i dunno...some weeks later?? and here i am now...trying to get over THE longest hangover since the anime convention ended. oy.**

**which brings me to the topic of AX, or "anime expo" for those of you that are SHELTERED. xO i REALLY want to be there right now amongst all those glorious artists i know online. AND...i believe quinton flynn is there. ughhhhhh. i want his voice in a jar, DAMMIT. Dx**

**well, because i can only dream, i sat here all night and got this chapter ready to go for updating. happy day, indeed. i feel productive! too bad that i missed the 4th of july to update! ah, well. did anyone enjoy their fireworks? hope this chapter will be..._firework-ish? _('kay. me and my strange vocabulary, hm?)**

* * *

Chapter 4: And so THIS Happened

Usually, enormous, monstrous headaches in the morning meant that, the night prior, person of interest had suffered through a night of rough drinking _or_ had managed to piss off a crowd of unsuspecting bystanders and receive nearly 100 years of torment for yelling in a boisterous manner. So, Roxas was seriously confused. He hadn't had a drink at his so-called "party", so alcohol obviously _was not_ a factor...

His head started to pound as a ray of light managed to slip under his eyelids. Since it hurt so much, he groaned and even squeezed out a little "dammit". Below him, he could feel something soft, but it certainly didn't help the pain subside. Crap.

"Crap," he mumbled with a hand laid across his forehead. "Mm...shouldn't've listened to her..." Olette's face. Yes, yes, we've heard this. He couldn't remember _squat_. Just her face. And getting kicked in the head for no reason. A red ceiling was above him, swirling and contorting under his foggy stare. A shadow—blocking his view of the blinding light...well, that was out of place.

"Rough night?" the shadow asked optimistically. Roxas was not an optimist. He shook his head to the unknown voice, but soon he'd decided to take back that gesture. Wait...this person _wasn't _unknown! He _knew_ that tone! He _knew_ the chipper behavior! You, you, _you_...

Realizing who it was, Roxas abruptly sat up from...wherever he had been lying down at in the first place, and immediately grabbed the sides of his head in agony. Oh, the pain.

"What—ah—what the hell are you _doing_ here?"

There was a short pause as Roxas kept his eyes facing his lap—they were shut tightly.

"What're you talkin' about?"

"You're not supposed to be here! This is—" Roxas took his turn to pause. Ok, so he wasn't exactly positive as to _where_ he was. He tried to try again, but he was cut off by deep chuckling. That was only slightly aggravating. Really, he just needed a minute.

"Yeah? Do you even know where you _are_?"

Roxas knit his eyebrows, and despite the pain throbbing between his eyes, behind his eyes and at the base of his head, he sharply turned his head to his left to face him.

"Hell if I know." He squinted hard while the shadowy person continued to laugh to himself. "It's not funny, you know."

The laughing stopped abruptly and suddenly the edge of the mattress evened out again. Roxas guessed that he'd stood up. "Well, alright then. If that's how you want it. Here, mind takin' this for me?"

As he rubbed his temples, Roxas pushed the sheets away from his legs so he could move around a little more. It was just then that he realized that his fingers weren't touching his skin. It felt too rough and stiff to be his skin. Rapping on the surface once with a finger, his head sparked and he suddenly recalled what he'd been touching. A bandage. With one sense working properly, he had to pretty much work with it to survive in this unknown territory. Geez.

"Take what?" he grumbled, fiddling with the loose cotton on the bandage.

There was a sigh. "Ibuprofen. It'll clear up that headache of yours. Boy, you sure ask allota questions for a guy that's been kicked around like a hacky-sack."

"Yeah, yeah." He really didn't wanna get _too_ involved with Axel. Yes, he'd figured it was Axel the moment he saw his shadow. Kinda weird how that happens. But at any rate, he just knew that wherever Axel was, there was obviously gonna be something totally sketchy up ahead.

He'd learned never to trust his type.

And so, still grumbling and with eyes half shut, Roxas' fingers reached out in front of him where the tips met with something warm. Axel's hand no doubt. His own withdrew as soon as he was sure that he'd stolen the pills away.

"You need water with that?"

"No, no. I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

He didn't bother to answer and instead swallowed down the two white pills that appeared as tiny cotton balls in the palm of his hand. His vision was steadily beginning to come back, and he didn't care if it wouldn't be at 100 percent. As long as he had at least 80 percent, he'd be getting the hell out of...wherever he was.

Until then, he had to stall somehow.

"Hey, Roxas?"

Roxas massaged his throat as the two pills started inching like sharp pebbles down, down, down. "What?" he croaked.

"You remember anything? From last night?" Roxas could barely make out Axel's outline now as he stood there to the side of the bed. He could tell that Axel was staring down at his lanky figure, which was _completely_ drained, badly beaten and bruised. This was absolutely _pathetic_! But in the best voice he could muster, he answered the redhead.

"Kind of. It'll probably start to come back eventually."

"Hm. You lemme know when 'eventually' comes around, got it? I wanna know what the hell happened to you."

Roxas rolled his eyes, causing his sight to straighten up more. "Why should you be concerned?"

"...I'm not."

Wait. Huh?

Roxas almost brought up the two questions, but as soon as he heard footsteps trailing further and further away from him, he shut his mouth. The room suddenly fell cold and empty—that same feeling that his own bedroom had given him in the mornings and nights...and that's when it hit Roxas. His eyes widened and his toes twitched under the covers.

Where the fuck was _his_ _bed_?

With his fingers gripping on to the sheets, Roxas hurriedly cussed to himself before throwing his feet out of bed and making a mad dash in the direction the footsteps had gone. His teeth were clenched as he tried his best to maneuver through the doorframe and into his new surroundings. Sure, his head was pounding like a freakin' race horse, but first thing was first.

_Where in the hell _was_ he?_

He had to take a second to catch his breath in the new room. All around him he could see faint light and millions upon _millions_ of shadows—ranging from small to his height—arranged in various ways against the walls. At first he felt like spiraling out of control in the middle of the room, but decided against it once he thought about ending back up in Axel's bed.

He had to get the shit out of here!

But he couldn't find the front door. This wasn't _his_ apartment. In fact, this place didn't look like anywhere he'd been before. Yes, it was a small pad, but it was obviously bigger than his. If it hadn't been for the overload of crap lying around the place, Roxas figured that he'd be able to classify the place as a condo.

Seriously, did Axel even _know_ the word _tidy_? Yeah, ok, there was a TV, a black leather couch and a coffee table in the room, but every which way Roxas turned there were books stacked upon books, binders staked upon binders, cups, mirrors, wooden mannequins and even old receipts. So they were all together according to object, but why keep them all in the first place?

Blankly, the blonde stared around the room with his back to the front door that he hadn't spotted yet. He was too fixated on all the trinkets and junk lying around in what he guessed was supposed to be the living room.

Ahead of him was a window with a single white curtain draped over the open end, billowing in the breeze from outside. But it wasn't so much the window anymore that Roxas was keen on staring at. It was what was set under the windowsill—glass figurines glinting in the summer sun.

Totally against his will, he tip toed around the coffee table until he was merely two steps away from touching the windowsill. He didn't wanna have to step over all those books just to get a good look at the figurines, so he stayed two steps back. There were a couple of little globes sitting in no particular order with little cities and people trapped inside the transparent barrier. Judging by the lack of dust on the glass, Roxas guessed that they were handled on a daily basis.

But why?

"Like what ya see?"

Quickly, Roxas half turned and stared nervously up at Axel who was leaning in the doorway of the room he'd ran out of—a bedroom. He was wearing grey sweats and a black hoodie. In the summer? But Roxas wasn't one to bitch about it. He was still in his star sweater anyway. He shook his head and turned away from the window as if he'd lost all interest.

He really hadn't, though.

"You usually wake up so late?" Axel asked calmly as if they'd known each other for years.

"W-Wha? Yeah, well, usually I—never mind that." He bit down on his lower lip to get himself to stop socializing so much. "I really need to go. I shouldn't be here."

"You mean in my place? What's so bad about it?" Axel gently cocked his head as he crossed his arms. What was this guy? A kid? That one 20 Questions game? He _was_ a creeper.

Ok, so this was his place. That much Roxas knew. And if that was case, then that meant that the abandoned building was right across the street. Which _also_ meant that his apartment was two blocks away. Sometimes he regretted living in a place that relied so much on walking rather than vehicles to get where you wanted to go. Twilight Town wasn't big on the new technologies of the future. Not like he could _afford_ them...

"N-nothing, nothing," he sighed. "Listen, I need to—" Roxas trailed off from his reply after he thought it through in his head. Hm. Well, that sure sounded pissy. And here Axel was just trying to help him out. He wasn't _threatening_ him or anything. He wasn't any of those goons that had tried to mug him last night.

So maybe it was unfair that he was talking so condescendingly to him. Feeling _semi-horrible_ about it, Roxas reworded his sentence.

"Uhm—t-thanks for—ah—taking me in, I guess." He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the hardwood floor while he spoke. It'd been such a long time since he'd thanked or apologized sincerely for anything. All Axel could do was stare with unblinking, unmoving and transfixed eyes at Roxas in front of the summer light pouring into his living room.

Well. That's not something you see everyday, now is it?

"...How _did _you get me here?" Figuring that he had to finish what he started, Roxas continued the conversation. Besides, he was kinda curious. Axel slowly smirked at the question and crossed the room toward a bookshelf against the left wall. It was cluttered with papers and books of different height. He just stood there and pretended to look for something that probably wasn't even there.

"Guess you could say it was pure luck that I found you."

_Luck?_

"I was walkin' down that street when I saw shattered glass on the other sidewalk. I couldn't see who was jus' lyin' 'round there, but I guess it was sorta instinct—I walked right up to the building and pulled you right up off the floor." While he spoke, he spoke with sheer composure as if seeing a bloody, passed out body was like a normal sight. Roxas listened with undivided attention.

"Yeah, I didn't even _know_ it was you 'til I actually pulled you out under th' street light. You'd think with all that blood and hair in your face you'd be pretty hard t' recognize. But, yeah, I knew ya alright. Even passed out you looked pretty sad, you know."

Hm. As if Roxas _cared_.

"So you recognized me 'cause I looked _sad_, is that it?"

Axel scoffed and placed a book down carefully on the shelf. "No. I just recognized your face."

What a smart aleck.

"You'd be surprised how easy it was just t' get you here! _Nobody_ wanders 'round this part of town at eight o'clock."

One of Roxas' eyebrows rose faintly. "Eight?"

"Yeah. Took me 'bout...longer than an hour t' get you over here an' fix you up. Hah. And, just for the record, _no_. I didn't change your clothes. They're still grimy and covered in _dried ocean water_."

Well, _that_ was a relief. Roxas quickly looked down at his feet and, just like Axel said, he was still dressed in Hayner's swim trunks and his favorite star sweater. Hm. Now that he thought about it, it wouldn't be too bad to give this stuff a wash. _All the more reason to go home now!_

The blonde shoved a hand into his pocket and began switching glances between Axel and the front door. "So, yeah. I'd better, you know...go. I can't leave my place unattended for a long time."

Axel shrugged and stared behind Roxas' shoulder at the billowing curtain just barely touching the tops of his little trinkets lined up on the sill. "Wouldn't do that if I were you."

_Why the fuck not?_ Roxas held his tongue on that one.

"Ah...let's see...oh, here it is!" Roxas watched Axel's hands dig behind a stack of magazines in one corner and continued to do so when he'd pulled out what appeared to be a remote control. "Sorry. I lose it a lot." With that said, Axel brought a thumb to the top of the remote and pointed it toward Roxas' right—at a small black television.

After a quick button press, the set turned on and Axel proceeded to surfing the channels for the one he wanted. Maybe this would be like the movies where the protagonist happened to turn the television on at the exact time a dramatic news report was being made. Oo, wouldn't _that_ be lucky? Wouldn't that he awesome? Sadly, when Axel stopped at the local news channel, a commercial for soap was playing. He slumped forward in disappointment.

"Aw. Thought it'd work...anyway." Axel returned to staring at Roxas who was blankly eying the front door again. Oh? Trying to leave? "Well, if you _wanna_ get questioned and stuff by the cops, you know—"

Roxas blinked and did a double take. "Cops? What for?"

"They're swarmed 'round your place. Saw it on the news this morning."

Roxas grabbed both sides of his aching head on that thought. Crap, fuck, shit, _dammit_! Cops? Of all times! He hated it when people were swarmed around his space. He just hated the attention it brought. Maybe now it'd take forever before the crowd would dwindle down—past eight o'clock tonight? With one hand rubbing the bandage on his forehead, Roxas began taking fast steps toward the front door—the redhead was still watching and following at his heels.

"Goin' somewhere?" Axel asked nonchalantly.

"_Yes_," Roxas replied sharply, glancing over his shoulder once he'd grabbed the doorknob. "_Thank you_ for helpin' me out, but—"

"You sure you—?"

"The sooner I talk with those cops, the sooner the street'll be cleared of spectators." Without another word, Roxas unlocked the door, pulled the door open and ran out in to the hallway. Axel just leaned against the doorframe—watching the kid try a hand at finding his way out of this strange building.

A smirk was still playing on his face and by the time Roxas disappeared around the corner, he threw his head back and chuckled toward the ceiling.

"Ah, Roxas," he said. "I'm beginnin' t' like you."

xxXXxx

"Roxas? Roxas! Oh, my gosh, Roxas are you alright? Are you ok?"

"Olette," Roxas whispered upon seeing that familiar face in the crowd. Yes, his assumptions were correct. After hearing the news and seeing the cops rolling down the streets in their fancy motorcycles and cars, stupid, _curious_ fucktards started gathering by the hundreds around _his_ apartment complex.

But he couldn't call Olette a fucktard. No, no. She was alright.

He gasped lightly when she threw her arms around his shoulders and gave him a tight squeeze. "Where've you been? Where—oh." As soon as she pulled away from the hug and gave Roxas a quick look over, her eyes froze upon spotting something out of place on his forehead. Roxas quickly brought a hand to it and shook his head.

"D-don't worry about it," he insisted before she could ask. "I...fell. Just a bruise. I—a friend bandaged it up for me at his place."

"_That's_ where you've been? Oh, thank goodness. You know what hap—?"

"Yeah," he interrupted, trying to get a good look at the damage over her and seemingly millions of other's shoulders. He'd never seen so many people together in this part of town. "On—on the news. What're the police saying?"

Olette crossed her arms over her white dress shirt and sighed. "I was on my way to work when I got the news. I couldn't go when I found out that it was your place, so I stopped by and found out that someone tried to break in last night. Not much more than that. It's all _classified_." She rolled her eyes on 'classified' and turned back around to face the building.

Roxas rubbed behind his neck in shame. "Olette, you gotta go to work. You know where I am now, right?"

Olette just shook her head, making the brown curls in her hair bounce. "Not until you're safe to go back in. What if they're not done by nighttime?"

"What time is it?"

"A little after one."

"In the afternoon?"

"Roxas, where've you been again?"

Roxas just groaned and tried to get his head straight. He'd been conked out for, what, almost half a _day_? At least his headache was partially gone. And at least he'd caught up on his sleep. Maybe it was the Ibuprofen Axel had given him. Huh, imagine that. It was really Ibuprofen. Although, it was always a possibility that Axel managed to make a pill form of a lethal methamphetamine...

"Oh, I forgot something," Olette brought up with a raised finger. She began to tap it on her cheek while she turned to her left and spoke. Roxas just watched her in the corner of his eye. "Did you manage to check your mail yesterday? You know, like I asked you to?"

Well, see, _this_ was where Roxas started to feel the lethal methamphetamine stabbing and jabbing at his insides. Or maybe that was just plain old guilt instead. At any rate, _something_ was fucking up with his insides and after hearing Olette's words, it just sped up the process and made it more aggressive! He bit his lower lip and crossed his arms while staring at the asphalt.

"Roxas?"

He twitched. "Y-yeah! Of course—of course I checked it!"

"And?" she added, raising an eyebrow.

"And...I—I haven't gotten around to..._opening_—"

"Oh, _Roxas_..." Olette placed a hand on her forehead and shut her eyes. "I _told_ you to."

"I know, but—"

"It's really important! Promise me you'll open it? You promise?"

Roxas nibbled at his lip.

"_Promise?_"

"I promise, ok? It's just that—" That's when Roxas quickly stopped himself from speaking and shot his eyes up from the ground. Upon seeing the cops exiting the broken door and chatting amongst themselves, he _remembered_ what he'd dropped last night. His fucking _mail_! Oh, Olette was gonna _hate_ him for this...

Roxas gulped, tried to hide his face from Olette's stare and pretended to find interest in something behind him. Two blocks. He'd walked down two blocks just to get from Axel's house to here. By any chance...did Axel have enough time to pick up his...?

He cupped his chin in thought. No way. _No way_ would he bother to think about picking up all that crap-mail. But if he _didn't_, then where in the heck _were his stuff_? A closer look in the building had Roxas thinking harder. No mail on the floor...no mail outside...

He sighed and, though he hated to say it, he had to...go back.

"Olette?" he asked, turning his body around to face the street behind them. Olette's head rose and she began to eye him in even more worry.

"What's wrong?"

"...Go to work, ok? I'm gonna go pick up some stuff real quick." He didn't wait for her reply, her approval, her _dis_approval or even her hand to shoot out and grab him. Instead, he followed his gut and took off running down the road—away from the crowd, away from Olette's yelling and away from home.

At this rate he'd never get a good night's sleep anymore. Why did he have to keep meeting face to face with this guy _every fucking day? _Trying to find sense in that would just bring a headache back.

Roxas groaned and with hands clenched into fists, he bolted down the sidewalk without a second glance over his shoulder.

xxXXxx

Gulp. Ok, it was now or never. Who would've thought that entering a damn _building_ would be so nerve wracking? Roxas didn't understand the new sensation creeping up his spine as he came within two steps of Axel's apartment complex. It wasn't that bad of a place either! In fact, compared to Roxas', Axel's place was _sustainable_. Maybe it was the fact that the brick building was right across the street that gave Roxas the shakes.

He exhaled and tried not to show any signs of discomfort as he pulled the glass door open and stepped inside, also trying to appear as if he actually _belonged_ there. Acting was honestly a difficult career. And Roxas was _no_ actor. He carefully jogged his memory and began mapping out the directions of how to get to Axel's place again.

Sigh. The intricate wonders of shrubbery labyrinth-like _apartment complexes_.

First thing was first: elevator.

Second time they'd met, Axel had pointed out that he'd lived on the sixth story. Good. That much was easy.

Second: hallway. Or rather...hall_ways_.

Well, he'd taken a right over _here_...and a..._left_ was it? Roxas grumbled incoherent swears to himself as he dragged his feet across the carpet. The level of swearing increased when he realized he'd passed the same door at least three times. Why did apartment doors have to look the _same_?

Third: numbers.

Sometimes Roxas wondered why he didn't bother to look for a house in the nice neighborhoods by now. Oh. That's right.

Money? Yeah, none.

Back to searching for that damn—

Then, Roxas froze in his tracks in the middle of the second hallway. Not only was this hallway familiar, but the sound of _guitar strumming_ certainly caught his attention. His eyes widened and although he was still frustrated and on the verge of clawing things to shreds, Roxas paid as much attention as he could to the sound in hopes that it would calm him down...and possibly lead him to Axel.

"There..." he whispered to himself as he slowly made his way against the left wall. He nearly hit a potted plant because he'd gotten so distracted. Unbeknownst to Roxas, his eyes had softened and his body less tense from irritation and anxiety. Guitar strums, huh? He walked on, slower and slower...

_"Somewhere in her smile she knows, that I don't need no other lover. Something in her style—"_

All that running and walking, panting and swearing brought Roxas to _this_. Guitar notes. Normally, that wouldn't've bothered him. Life would've continued. But something was different. Maybe because Axel happened to be the one playing the guitar? Maybe because he was the one that happened to be singing another oddball of a song?

Or maybe it was because Axel was still standing there in his doorway...the exact same way Roxas had left him.

The blonde stared at the open door that was a couple of steps away from him and watched Axel continue to strum the five strings with those long fingers. The light from the living room was casting a shadow on Axel's body, and, in all honesty, he looked...natural like that.

Roxas noticed a green bottle sitting at Axel's feet and wondered if he'd been drinking. Sure enough, when he got closer, the smell of beer took over.

Hadn't Axel _seen_ him yet?

_"Something in the way she shows...And all I have to do is think of her. Something—"_

Roxas had been standing right in front of Axel's little show when, suddenly, it stopped. But Axel didn't look up. No...he just kept holding onto the guitar and staring sleepily at the tips of his fingers that were still pressed against the right strings. Roxas could still hear the song being played like an echo in his head, and while he stared at Axel's face, he couldn't help but see how far away they were looking.

"...Roxas."

Roxas' heart jolted and he had to cough for it to beat straight again. "What?"

Then, slowly, extremely slowly, Axel narrowed his eyes and turned to face Roxas' petrified eyes in front of him. He blinked and after pushing away from the doorframe, stepped into the living room with his guitar slung over his shoulder.

"Got something for ya."

Upon hearing that, Roxas slipped into the room and shut the door behind him.

What he saw...nearly broke his heart.

* * *

**-don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart...- i HATE that song...but the last line made me think of it. DAMMIT, BILLY RAY CYRUS. you and your daughter need to lock yourselves in a room and stay there until i say you can come out. which will be NEVER, KTNX. OTL**

**i dunno. i have this immense hatred for hannah montana and basically anything pertaining to the disney channel. yes. that would also include the stupid shows that try to use mickey mouse in cute little mishaps. please, SPARE ME. only the _classics_ have the right to use mickey that way! ugh. i wonder why my tivo has the darn channel ON THERE. fhdjfhuiahfuiehuwhuwhr11111!!**

**anyway, how y'all doin'? good? well...how was your independence day? i'm starting to wonder why we call it independence day here in the US. i mean, independence from WHO? we _stole_ the freakin' country! but, ah well. call it what you want. i just call it the day where we barbeque and watch flashy, polluting lights in the sky. (long name, ey??) SO! back to the story! _axel_ and _roxas..._**

_**hmhmhm...**_**this shall be fun. what, oh what will happen to you, my little darlings? -strokes invisible goatee- let's just say that i like drunk!axel. a lot. and roxas...he just really wants his mail back! _or does he?_**

_**makes me wonder what axel SHOWED poor roxas... Dx  
kokoro77  
**_


	5. ROOMmates?

**Author's Note: b'guh. i...i...did...d-did...what...-shot-**

**i actually, _updated_? _like i USED to??_ what, oh WHAT, is this world coming to?? i ask you. WHAT?**

**alright, alright, so it's not totally epic and whatnot, but still, that's one hell of an effort this summer! and i feel better already. :D sigh. i STILL haven't left the country/state since the flipping school year ended...so what am i supposed to DO?? i feel like i'm on deprivation of vacation, deprivation of LIFE. summer is what i've been waiting for all school year and now that it's HERE...!**

**i stay home. .**—**.**

**...at least i get to drive places soon. then i can at least go to the bookstore when i want.**

**anyway, WHAT BROKE ROXAS' HEART? you'll probably shoot me for this.**

* * *

Chapter 5: _Room_mates?

"What's...that?" Roxas asked hesitantly, unsure on if it would be alright to step further into the room or not. His fingers were starting to twitch at his sides and already his palms were beading with sweat. And he couldn't _do_ anything about it either. The way his body worked in certain situations was, surprisingly, out of his mind's control. And so he stood there—stone cold with lips parted while Axel held something small and obviously broken in the palm of his hand.

Axel raised an eyebrow at the sad, lifeless little necklace and began to look at it from different angles with indifference. The glass pendant was cracked into two pieces.

"Dunno," he replied with a sigh. "Thought _you'd_ know. After all, it came in that package-a yours."

Roxas' eyes widened. "You..._opened_ it?" What the hell? He didn't have to go and do _that_! Ugh. The nerve of people that didn't know the meaning behind _belongings_. What's yours is yours and what's mine is mine. He held back a groan and instead tried to get a better look at the pendant Axel was still examining.

"Hm. Came with a card, 'case you were, ya know, _concerned_." Axel scoffed and with a smile he turned from the blonde and slipped into the kitchen. Roxas made a huge reach for him but only succeeded in stumbling forward and landing flat on his face. Ah, _shit_! Axel didn't pay any attention to Roxas' little mishap and instead carefully placed the broken pendant on the kitchen table beside his guitar and began digging around for stuff in his cabinets.

Roxas—still disgruntled and obviously discomfited—peeled his face off of the lovely carpet and shot his eyes to the left where Axel was doing god knows _what_. He followed his movement from cabinet to cabinet—digging through utensil after utensil for, again, god knows _what_! It wasn't until Axel made the "AHA!" sound of discovery that Roxas forced himself to stand up and get a closer look.

"What're you doing?" Roxas asked, slowly craning his neck so he could watch Axel tinkering with the thing. "Hey! Be careful with it! It's from—"

"Yup," Axel quickly interrupted as he—without so much as a glance over the shoulder—handed Roxas a small piece of paper in between two of his fingers. Roxas ogled it for a short while before he extended a shaking hand to accept it and eventually read it.

"For Roxas," he read aloud. "Happy birthday. I know it's not as big and as flashy as what I gave you last year, but consider this one straight from the heart. All my love. O...lette." Upon reading her name, Roxas' heart sank all over again. Why was it that whenever she was brought up he had to feel _bad_? Maybe it was because he could never return the favor. As he continued to stare at the little card, Axel went on messing with the broken something rather that Roxas hadn't even _seen_ yet.

"She a friend-a yours?" the redhead asked, still hunched over his work. Roxas didn't look up and crossed his arms.

"Mhm. Since high school."

"High school, huh? Man, must've been one helluva ride for ya."

Well, uhm, _that's_ a problem. Roxas couldn't _remember_ much from high school. It wasn't that he _hated_ high school, it was just that nothing particularly _interesting _came out of it for him to relay. Yeah, it was technically a _bad_ thing that he couldn't think highly of his teenage years...but, really, he couldn't _remember_. What would be the point of reminiscing if he couldn't remember?

He blinked slowly and made some unsure noises in the back of his throat.

"Ye-yeah."

Roxas heard Axel chuckle to himself, causing him to look up from the floor and at the redhead's back. Axel leaned back into his chair and threw an arm over the back of it, giving his little project a quick scan afterward. Roxas reacted instantly to that movement and with a skip in his step, moved to the side of the table and stared down at Olette's gift—a small glass pendant in the shape of a heart.

It was a clear pendant, attached to a brown leather string by a silver hook. A thin white crack trailed diagonally through it—like a little lightning bolt cutting through some tiny black words scribbled inside. From the looks of things, Axel had stuck the two pieces back together with a few squirts of super glue. Well, it was better than nothing.

"How'd it...break?" Roxas asked, his fingers reaching out to grab it. Unfortunately for him, Axel was quicker and once again he placed the pendant in between two fingers, proceeding to stare at it with narrowed and drunken eyes after. And he was actually _smiling_ at it? Like it's his or something...

"...A heart for you—fragile...and sincere. Someday someone will give you...their heart, their word: I'm here."

Those words confused Roxas. But at the same time they made him shiver. Axel had read them from inside of the pendant, but somehow it just sounded different—like it was coming out of somewhere else, you know? He rubbed the bandage over his wound and with the other hand snatched the necklace away from Axel's stare. Axel still continued to hold two fingers in front of his face as if it was still in his possession. Ch. What a freakin' _drunk_.

"Cute choice of words. Comin' from that, you'd think she was your _girlfriend_."

Roxas rolled his eyes and tried to wrap the necklace around his neck. He had to go properly thank Olette...and then hope to the heavens that she'd accept his apology for breaking it _if _she were to notice. All the more reason to go home now! Now he just needed the rest of his mail.

"Found it on the ground next to ya last night. Probably got stepped on."

Roxas just made a sound in his throat and after hooking the latch at the back of his neck, started for the front door again. "I just...came for my stuff. Once the cops clear out, I'll move back in."

Axel leaned further back into his chair until the legs were a couple of inches away from the floor. He threw a leg up on the table which caused it to shake and rattle. Roxas quickly glanced over his shoulder at the sudden movement and Axel's smile instantly widened. This kid was _hella_ jumpy!

"Looks nice on you."

Roxas blinked. "What?"

"What your girlfriend gave you. She knows style, hm?"

"She's _not_ my girlfriend. We're just close friends."

"Ah, can't up the status so you resort t' jumpin' off buildings? Happens a lot, you know."

That made Roxas clench his hands into fists. He didn't look away from Axel when he did, though. Death, death, _death_! What was up with Axel and sticking all the suicide assumptions up his ass? It's _not_ a pleasant feeling. But he let it slide and didn't reply on his way out of the room.

"Ya know," Axel started with a raised finger, "I'd think it'd get _pretty _tedious havin' t' walk all those blocks jus' t' jump offa that building 'cross the street."

"Your _point_?"

The redhead narrowed his eyes at Roxas' back and found it amusing that he'd stopped walking away just to listen to him speak. It was really easy getting the kid to listen, and if that was the case, it'd be even easier to operate him. First, he'd been attracted to guitar chords, then singing, and then little word bombs. He could already tell that Roxas was distracted by the simple things in life. So if he played his cards right, Axel could strike and hit the right point in Roxas' head.

Find the trigger...and _pull_.

"Why bother movin' around so much? Wouldn't hurt t', ya know, stay here, right?"

Well, Roxas almost made a snarky comment on that..._almost_. But when he tried to piece words together—this one here that one there—they didn't match up. In fact, there was nothing he could say correctly to oppose that offer. In truth, yeah, Axel's place had a better sense of living and security. No thin walls from which neighbor's banters and sexual activities could be heard were built around him. And, on top of all that, the brick building—that _perfect building_—was merely 10 steps across the street.

"Makes sense since we're both after th' same goal, right?"

While staring at the tips of his shoes and wiggling his toes inside them, Roxas considered and considered more Axel's suggestion. It actually...made sense. But he wouldn't stay here forever, oh no. He'd only stay for, let's see...how did two days sound? Give Axel the thought that he's comfortable before turning the tables on the second day and dying! Yeah, that'd be a pie in the face, wouldn't it?

Both ends of Roxas' mind shook on it, and he turned around with a faint smile drawn on his lips to say, "Makes sense."

Axel smirked and settled his chair back down on the floor. That pendant, broken or not, actually did compliment Roxas' look—made him look at little less beat down and "fuck the world" in attitude. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked right into Roxas' eyes at a slant...but then they drifted down, down, down until he found himself doing the old checking out maneuver.

Hm...

"How long?"

"Gimme a week." Hm. Sucker. Roxas bit the corner of his lip to refrain from snickering.

"Alright, _roomie_. What's yours is mine."

Roxas nodded on that statement and finally backed out of the room to do some wandering. "I'm going out for a bit." And with that, he left the front door open a crack and began his wondrous journey of walking up and down hallways to pass time. At least until eight tonight.

In the meantime, Axel celebrated with another beer. So now they were a _bit_ more than acquaintances, a _step _over suicide buddies, and one inch shy of becoming friends. Roomies. Hm.

_Roomies_.

Maybe now he'd get to try a hand at saving this kid.

xxXXxx

He could tell by the shelf of organized CDs, cassettes and vinyl records that Axel enjoyed the vocal company of dead pop, rock, soft rock and the occasional indie singer. Ever since Axel had taken his turn to leave the apartment, Roxas had spent a majority of his time either staring into the refrigerator or sitting on the couch in the trinket infested living room. He just liked it in there for some reason.

The evening news came on around 7 o'clock and when it did, Roxas felt strange being so _alone_ in the place. He started to rethink his choice in living here for a couple of days. He might've been a _wee bit hasty_ in deciding...but shit, that was done already.

He flopped his head back on a pillow he'd stolen from the bedroom and put the evening news on mute while he dug in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Strangely, he could afford a cell phone, but mostly because he rarely used it. The bills never surpassed 100 bucks. For some reason, he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that he had to make that one monthly call _today_.

So, after browsing the list for another minute, Roxas stopped on Olette's number and selected it with the little green phone icon. He _still_ felt rotten about his broken gift...and ditching her...and worrying her...and lying to her..._oops_.

_Ring...ring...ring..._

Dammit, why did it take more than three rings before someone would pick up the damn phone? It was like the law of nature to do that!

And then, the heavens opened up.

_"Roxas!"_

Roxas sighed and smiled a little against the phone. "Hey, 'lette. What's up?"

_"You tell me. You left in a hurry earlier!"_ She started to laugh and Roxas swore he heard clattering in the background. Dishes, no doubt.

"Sorry. Am I bothering you?"

_"No, silly. I just got done with the dishes. Hayner came over for dinner. You wanna talk to him?"_

"N-no, that's ok. I just wanna talk for a little while."

The stunned silence probably meant that Roxas hit the suspicion button in Olette's head. Yes, yes. "You guys are _best friends!_" The whole shebang. Whatever. Talking with Hayner on the phone was like talking to a psychopath. He was the kind of guy that didn't exactly _hold a conversation on the phone_, but instead talked to himself while he took out the trash, saw something funny on the computer or read something kinky in another dirty magazine.

And he wasn't exactly in the mood for that tonight.

_"Oh. Alright. You know, he quit his old job."_

Roxas adjusted his position so that he was facing the dark ceiling with an arm under his head. "Really?"

_"Mhm. He said it wasn't as fun without you. And the pay wasn't helping much at home."_

"So that's why he came over for food, right?"

She sighed and her voice dropped to a whisper. _"Don't tell, ok? But...I think so."_

Both of them laughed, only Roxas forced himself to stop sooner than she did. Laughing was _bad_. BAD.

"A-Anyway," he started again, "I just called to, you know, tell you that I'm sorry I left you like that. I had to come back to my...friend's house and pick a few things up."

_"Are you back home?"_

"...No. I'm staying over here for a few days. It's a long walk back home."

_"Do you need me to—?"_

"No, it's ok, Olette," he interrupted while holding out a hand as if she'd been in the room. "I don't need a ride back. Geez, you're gonna be one heck of a mom."

He heard her scoff on the other end. _"Kinda feel like I am already."_

Boy, he wasn't in the mood to revisit guilt again tonight either! He pretended to laugh it off and smiled up at the ceiling.

"You don't have to go and do that, you know."

_"I know...but you guys are like family to me. It's not easy! Hmhm, I don't think I can leave any one of you behind."_

Gee. This wasn't such a great thing to hear either. So...maybe calling her up tonight was a bad thing. Maybe falling asleep would've been nicer. On that thought, Roxas yawned loudly and rubbed his left eye tiredly. She must've heard it since she clicked his tongue and replied:

_"You get some sleep over there, alright? Can't imagine how your sleeping patterns are going now that you're—you ARE job searching, aren't you?"_

If people honestly believed the whole "I'm going through a tunnel, you're breaking up" excuse, then Roxas would've used it in a heartbeat. But regardless on if he'd used it or not, Olette was a smart girl—she could sense these things. He sighed and played with a tuft of hair that fell over his eyes.

"Not yet. Too...soon."

_"You need to get on that, Roxas!"_ She semi-lectured him and he could already picture the wagging finger to go with it. Yeah, yeah. Job hunting. Nothing but wasted smiling and BSing, if you asked him.

"I will, I will. Don't worry...and, Olette?"

_"Hm."_

Roxas lowered his hand from his hair to his neck where the chipped heart pendant was sitting idly in between his collarbones. He touched it gently—thinking that if he picked it up it would snap in two all over again—and started tracing the ridged crack with the tip of his middle finger.

"...Thanks. For the necklace, I mean. I really like it."

She started to giggle. _"Hm. You're welcome, Roxas. Thought the words inside were meant just for you, you know."_

"Yeah...I liked them, too."

_"...Whoop, gotta go, Roxas. Hayner's about to leave. You sure you don't want to talk with him?"_

He nodded and shut his eyes with a hand draped over them. "I'm sure. Bye, 'lette."

Without hearing her reply or Hayner's loud goodbye in the background, Roxas flipped the phone shut and let it make a nice home on the carpet. The evening news was still going on mute when he fell asleep in the darkness of that organized chaos of a living room.

xxXXxx

Roxas was _definitely _a heavy sleeper. Even the squeaky floors and the un-muted television mixed with some chuckling and chain rattling couldn't wake him up. Even the drunken pedestrians, drunk drivers, horns and screeching, obnoxious blathering and laughing from the streets couldn't wake him up. Axel saw him laying there on his couch when he got back home from a little browsing in the shopping district.

He chuckled to himself and shut the television off before leaning over to make sure that Roxas was actually breathing. 'Kay, so that was good. He didn't want to be, you know, labeled a _shadow _or anything for the kid, but he was just curious and even a little concerned. Was that such a _bad_ thing?

Nah.

With both hands on the armrest of the couch, Axel peered down at Roxas with his hand still covering his eyes while he slept. Yeah. This had to be the only time he saw Roxas so loose and laid back. And the fact that he was on _his couch_ was too darn cute to handle. Smiling sincerely, he leaned closer until he could feel his cheeks tingling when they came within an inch from touching Roxas' fingers. His own reached down and slowly, _very _slowly peeled Roxas' away from his face. He set Roxas' hand down at his side and, as expected, the kid stayed conked out.

Asleep, Roxas' face was relaxed. There was no way a nightmare or vice thought had attacked this guy in years. If that was the case, then Roxas probably wasn't as keen on dying as he claimed to be. His eyes were twitching in some secret world he was in while his lips and eyebrows moved ever-so slightly in time.

He cocked his head a bit and, still staring at the blonde's face, dropped his smile and replaced it with a look of deep attention—like a kid spotting their first cloud in the shape of something spectacular. His eyebrows rose and his green eyes glossed over.

"Heh. Night, Roxas," he chuckled before effortlessly lowering his head, shutting his eyes and barely tapping their lips together. He felt them touch, _just a bit_...and stayed like that.

Until Roxas opened his eyes...and wondered why someone was hovering over him...

* * *

**-staggers- yeah, i know, I KNOW. a tad short, right? but i liked it that way. i feel like axel and roxas deserve a little, you know, couple of moments to mellow out...before trying to jump off of high places.**

**...did i leave people dangling again? XO i can't help it! i think i need to go to alcoholics anonymous for a meeting...only, not for alcohol. for...cliff-hanging...syn...drome...(_i enjoy making these things up_) _and stop askin' me when these two are gonna get to the fucking!!_ IT-WILL-COME. is this really all you guys read this story for? .**—**.  
**

**well, i went to the bookstore today and purchased a compilation of george carlin's three bestselling books, and i HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who is into funny, cynical randomness as told from the perspective of...basically a grandpa at the thanksgiving dinner table who won't stop complaining about his chair being too stiff or the turkey being too cold. only it's FUNNY! i can't wait to get to reading more of it tomorrow. (so, uhm, yeah. this is my summer _vacation_ Dx)**

**but think about it! hopefully i get to go to the zoo next week! (_sad_) and then i get to practicing driving! (_sad_) and get to write about axel and roxas...making...love...**

**how exactly do you "MAKE LOVE?" what ingredients are mashed together to "MAKE LOVE?" how much does love go for? 10 bucks a lb? maybe it depends on the size...hm. i think i'll stop by the market tomorrow and ask around. no doubt that PILLSBURY has one of those cake boxes filled with all the ingredients for me. or maybe it's in the fruit aisle? or the meat department? in the freezers between the ben and jerry's and the hotpockets? well, i'll be makin' love along with axel and roxas, ey?**

_**the main ingredient for love?,  
kokoro77  
**_


	6. Tell Me the Truth

**Author's Note: -cough cough wheeze-**

**ugh...i'm unfortunately sick at the moment...so you have to forgive me for posting this so late. WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING? it's been FOREVER, hasn't it? i missed this story too much, and i know that a lot of you have been waiting for much, _much_ too long. i'm trying to be a good student at school, trying to patch things back up after what happened two months ago, and right now i'm starting to pick up the pieces one at a time. -less than three- it's a pretty good feeling, and i'm glad i took the time today to write. gosh, i missed axel and roxas so much.**

**so, i decided to make it up to you guys and make this chapter a bit longer than the others. at the time i started writing this, my feelings were running wild, and i guess that's reflected here. alrighty, time to fess up and speak the truth! you wonder about that little kiss back there? hmhmhm. axel is such a sneaky bastard.  


* * *

  
**

Chapter 6: Tell Me the Truth

"Hm..." Roxas mumbled as his eyes fluttered open in the dark. He couldn't yet comprehend with the world at the moment, so the feeling of lips on his hadn't yet _registered_. So, thinking that it was morning already, his arms stretched out toward the ceiling for a stretch, causing his and Axel's lips to press harder against each other. Still, it didn't signal _a thing_ in his head.

Once he'd finished stretching, Roxas laid himself back down on the couch and, with the absence of another human body against his, his eyebrows rose and he tried to correct his vision so he could better see in the dark. All this time Axel watched the boy with just as much attention as he had when he'd been, well, kissing him, obviously. He looked like a baby almost. Cute.

"Hey," Roxas mumbled as if nothing was _wrong_. "W-what're you doing..._hereee!?_" Clearly that didn't last long since his eyes widened and he quickly squirmed in the cushions—his feet kicking and his arms pulled in close to his chest. "What the _hell_?" he spat.

Axel hadn't backed away _right_ away, but instead casually ran a hand through his hair and lingered before Roxas with his eyes shut. He just started to hum something by the time Roxas decided to get nippy again.

"Wha—you just—what're you doing hovering over my head like that?" the blonde asked in a mess of panting and chattering teeth. When Axel didn't respond, he shook his head vigorously and swung his feet onto the floor so that he could sit properly.

Nonchalantly, the redhead straightened his back, giving Roxas room to breathe some, and crossed his arms as he turned back for the hallway. Huh. So did he _feel_ that kiss or was he simply in denial? Oh, the sheer amusement of it all. Axel was enjoying Roxas's company, to be perfectly honest. For Axel, Roxas's mind was silly and unique and at this time of the day he was surprised to see that Roxas wasn't much different.

"Well, I think that's enough for one night, Roxas," Axel chuckled while glancing over his shoulder. Roxas scoffed and rubbed his eyes with both hands.

"Seriously, what—N-never mind," he stuttered, waving a hand in Axel's direction, disregarding him. "...Just—you know, what time is it?"

"Sorry?"

"Time. What's the time?" Roxas asked, frustrated. Maybe he'd raised his voice and maybe Axel found that funny since the he started to chuckle. Roxas knitted his eyebrows and sat up on the couch. "What?"

Axel shook his head and waved a hand past his face. "Nothin'. Just kinda funny...seeing you asleep in my place."

The blonde shot his eyes in the other direction and held back a blush coming to his face. He was _embarrassed_ because he'd been here in Axel's apartment, and he wasn't embarrassed because he'd fallen asleep, but, honestly, he was embarrassed about not knowing what to do toward Axel's hospitality. It was nice, yeah, but in a way it was overwhelming. Thinking about it, Roxas brought two fingers to his lips and traced their shape.

The redhead narrowed his eyes at that movement and, after running his long fingers through his hair again, turned and walked toward his bedroom.

"It's 10 o'clock," he called over his shoulder to which Roxas sighed heavily. Hm, what's with the sighing? Axel glanced over his shoulder at that and decided to pitch some concern. "You mind telling me why time's so important to you?"

The blonde didn't look at Axel and kept his eyes focused on the little glass figurines sitting on the windowsill across from him. He liked those things, really, but he had to wait for daytime to really appreciate their beauty. He nearly forgot Axel's question, and he really wished he hadn't remembered, but slowly he turned his head and replied like a _good boy_.

"...It's just a bad habit, checking the time a lot. It's not important." With that, Roxas crossed his arms and flopped back down on the couch with his head rested atop the armrest. Strangely it wasn't as comfortable as earlier, but he didn't complain. He'd only be here for a short while anyway, so comfort wasn't his number one priority. Axel, on the other hand, cocked his head when Roxas's head made an uncomforting thunk on the couch and figured he should be concerned.

"You need somethin'?" he asked. Roxas scoffed and shut his eyes as he yanked the stolen pillow up to his chest and hugged it tightly to his body. He pulled his legs in closer to his chest to preserve heat—he was still wearing those damn swimming trucks.

Axel persisted. "Like a blanket?" Still the kid turned the offer down. "Pants?" he asked, noticing that Roxas's exposed legs were prickled with goose bumps.

"How about _quiet?_ That'd be great."

Roxas heard a scoff down the hallway and, curiously, his head rose from the couch and he hesitated trying to peek at the redhead. But when he heard a soft click he figured that Axel retreated to his room, shut the door and turned in. Honestly, that was shocking. Slowly, he lowered his head and cuddled the pillow as he thought harder about this..._Axel_ guy. He didn't object to Roxas's behavior, he didn't turn down Roxas's requests. In fact, Axel wasn't doing a damn thing _wrong_.

So what was so frustrating about him? What was it about Axel that pissed Roxas off? The more the blonde thought about it, the worse he felt. He buried his cold lips into the pillow and shut his eyes, suddenly overcome by sleepiness again. What was really annoying was that he _liked_ what Axel was doing, he _liked_ Axel's company and more than anything he liked _Axel_.

It wasn't fair. He was starting to like a guy who was a) a creeper b) a suicidal idiot like himself and c) nice. Because Axel was all of the above, Roxas felt like he had a little...solace.

Was this supposed to happen?

xxXXxx

It was nearly five in the afternoon when Roxas woke up the next day. Ever since he'd started living by himself he'd been getting up late..._way_ late. It wasn't even funny how late he'd get up most days. Ok, if he was really lucky a garbage truck would drive by his apartment and wake him up around 11. He just didn't really have any reason to get up early...he didn't have a reason to start a day so soon...or start one at all.

As he opened his eyes, Roxas smelled something wafting around the living room and his senses suddenly perked up. Coffee? Curiously, the blonde sat up from the couch, causing the pillow he'd been holding to fall from his lap and onto the floor. He stared at it a second or two before stupidly remembering that he wasn't in his fucking _apartment_ anymore, but in Axel's.

He yawned and slowly stood from the couch so that he could figure out where that smell was coming from. Sure enough, his nose led him to the kitchen and there, sitting with his legs propped up on the table and his back turned to the blonde, was Axel.

Roxas rolled his eyes and scratched behind his neck. "Don't you ever sleep?"

Axel chuckled and kept his back turned to the boy when he replied, "Don't you ever wake up?"

When Roxas didn't respond, Axel glanced over his shoulder to find out what his little guest was doing. Poor kid. Probably didn't know much about how to accept hospitality and generosity from a complete stranger. The redhead sighed on that thought and turned his chair around so that he could get a better look at the kid wearing beach shorts and a dirty star sweater in his kitchen.

"You should drink coffee," he started, nodding. "Or at least let me give you something decent to wear."

Roxas shook his head at that, once again turning down an offer that Axel gave. "No thanks. Always hated the coffee. And there's nothing wrong with my fashion sense."

Strangely, Axel didn't say anything to that, but rather than turning back around and disregarding the question he stared with unblinking eyes at Roxas. Roxas looked away and felt goose bumps traveling down his spine and up his legs under Axel's sudden creeper stare. Axel staring at him like that with his green eyes was nerve wracking. He happened to do this a lot...which was only slightly concerning to the blonde. Slightly. He'd only known him for a few days and he was suddenly living in the same place.

What. The. Fuck.

After what felt like hours, Axel broke the gaze and quietly stood from his chair. Roxas looked back at him again and noticed at least three empty coffee cups sitting atop the table. What a freak of nature!

"Alright, what ever ya say. If that's the case, how's 'bout you an' me get outta the house today?" Axel asked, crossing his arms and smiling down at the confused boy.

_What?_ Was Axel...actually suggesting they _bond?_ Sure, this suggestion had been floating in the back of Roxas's head for some time, but he never thought Axel, the one person in this world who knew about Roxas's suicidal problem, would bring it up! Didn't he know that Roxas _couldn't_ bond? Trying to _dis_like Axel was hard enough!

"...What're you talking about?"

"Come on, we'll just be out for a little while! We'll come right back, promise."

After hearing that, Roxas widened his eyes and laughed in disbelief. "You're—you're kidding, right? I—"

"I've got something I wanna show you down at the beach."

"Oh goody. The beach. You gonna take me along to stalk more kids?" Roxas retorted, slapping his forehead with his palm afterward. The redhead, rather than giving a quirky response to that statement, kept a straight face and walked towards the blonde. When he was close enough, Axel leaned forward and stared into Roxas's face with one eyebrow quirked. Poor Roxas tried to inch his face away, even threatened to kick Axel in the balls if he didn't move, but still the redhead stayed put, his eyes narrowed to slits.

"You know, Roxas," he began as he took a step closer. Roxas backed further away into the hallway at that. He actually sounded pissed. "_You_ are the biggest _jackass_...I've ever met."

Roxas stammered at that comment but didn't get the chance to send a slap across Axel's face since he'd finally backed away and walked toward the front door. It was only now that he realized that he was backed into the nearest wall with his fingers nervously clawing at the paint behind him. He slowly turned his head and watched as Axel popped open the front door and slipped out into the hallway with his hands hidden away in the pocket of his black hoodie. Was he mad? Did Roxas hurt his feelings?

Roxas had to admit that, at times, Axel frightened him...then again, maybe _frightened_ wasn't the right word.

_Thoroughly intrigued_ might've been better.

xxXXxx

"You like this place, Roxas?" Axel asked as soon as he could see the sea shore up ahead. Roxas, who had been walking behind Axel at a good distance of five feet, looked up from his feet and stared out at the orange horizon with the black silhouettes of seagulls hovering aimlessly over the water. He took in a deep breath and looked away from such a beautiful scene, mostly because he didn't want to feel too nostalgic right now...

The beach...

"No," he muttered under his breath, kicking the ground afterward. Axel didn't respond so Roxas couldn't tell what his reaction was. Was he smiling? Did he really believe what Roxas said? Without thinking, Roxas picked up his pace and walked side by side with Axel so that he could get a better look at his face.

Axel pretended not to notice Roxas walking beside him and looked straight ahead with his fingers intertwined behind his head. "Hm...I'm not buyin' that. Saw you here with your friends yesterday, remember?"

"Doesn't mean I like the beach."

"But you enjoy your friend's company. You can't tell me this beach doesn't bring back good memories?" Axel turned his head to the left with that question, searching the blonde's face for the answer. All he got in return was a lousy shake of the head. This kid was a stubborn one...

The two finally crossed the street and made it to the sand in silence. Roxas hesitated at first, but after seeing that Axel continued to walk on, panicked and dashed across the sand after him. Ugh. He felt like such a—such a _puppy_, it wasn't even funny. Since he'd been wearing his sandals, he could feel the warmth of the summer sun on his toes. It hurt, yeah, but at the same time he liked the feeling. All around him he could hear the ocean. The waves were calmer today that usual, and the beach was strangely empty save for a few women who had fallen asleep sun tanning.

So the two were virtually alone.

He stopped for a second and lowered his head as he shut his eyes. In Roxas's head he had a little world all his own—a dark one where he was the only one alive. He liked this little world...because he was the only one there. He didn't need to abide to rules. He didn't need to worry about hurting or getting hurt. In sleep he'd visit his little world...but when he'd open his eyes it would vanish and the real world would overtake him.

For a while he smiled thinking about it, listening to the ebbing of the waves at the same time, before he heard footsteps coming toward him and he abruptly opened his eyes.

Axel was standing in front of him, appearing as a shadow against the large orange sun, and was looking down at the kid curiously.

"You...ok? Tired?"

Roxas shook his head and as he walked away he brushed arms with Axel like he was angry. "I just don't like it here, ok?" Why did he have to go off thinking about his world at a time like this?

The sand appeared orange as Roxas approached the waves. Since he lived in Twilight Town, the sun would always set earlier than usual regardless of the season. Around five was when the sun would set completely. He stopped before a wave could touch his feet and stared out at the water with a heavy gaze. Suddenly, he really _was_ feeling tired.

"...Hey, see that cliff over there?"

Roxas blinked a couple of times before looking over his shoulder at Axel who was standing to the right of him. Since the tide was coming in fast, Axel had his jeans folded up a little past his knees so the bottoms wouldn't get wet. Roxas eyed him a moment, this redhead standing in front of the sunset, before looking out over the horizon where Axel had his finger pointed toward. It took him a while, but soon Roxas spotted what looked like a giant boulder jutting out into the high crashing waves.

"What about it?" he asked, slowly.

Axel lowered his head and chuckled. "Let's go," he replied playfully as if this was some sort of _activity_. Roxas immediately objected to that.

"You _know_ we'll get killed, right? Those waves? Are you seeing them? And the tide's coming in!"

"_Trust me_, you won't _die_." Still Axel sounded like he was teasing the kid. There was a reason why he liked to push Roxas' buttons. If there was one thing in this world that Roxas lacked, it was discipline. Axel figured that much out in the last few days he'd known him. He'd find the time to let Roxas know about this fault, but at the moment he just wanted to test him. Figure out what made blondie..._tick_.

The redhead nearly giggled as he thought about all this and despite Roxas' continuous rejection of going to the cliff, Axel immediately broke into a run to the left and ended up splashing Roxas with water from the knee down. Roxas shot a look at him.

"Are you even listening?"

"You comin' or not?" Axel called over his shoulder, not stopping. Well, Roxas truly _did_ want to just let the douchebag run like that. Run. Run so very far away until there was nothing _left_ of him. Then maybe Roxas could do some running of his own—run back home if he wanted, he didn't know. Still, even as he thought about it, his feet didn't budge. They'd grown too used to the warmth of the beach...and Roxas was slowly growing tired of being alone.

He paused, clenching his hands into fists before letting out a rough sigh and breaking into a run after Axel. The wind from the waves pushed his hair to one side and for once he could feel his body loosen up a bit. He didn't even know he'd been tense. He always knew that the beach gave him that feeling...he just didn't like revisiting it, that's all. "You'd better have a good reason..." he muttered off to the side.

Of course Axel couldn't hear him; he was too far ahead. Still, even so very far away Roxas could _see_ Axel, and because of that he felt alright. Maybe not completely ok, but alright. He didn't quite understand what Axel was doing for him, why he'd even met him in the first place, but one thing still stood as truth: Roxas's little world suddenly wasn't so...little.

xxXXxx

There were waves crashing on either side of the two as they stood atop the cliff. It was near sundown and all around the environment had become dark blue. The cliff was too high—at least four stories tall—for the waves to reach over it, so Roxas really didn't have to feel so paranoid about being swallowed up by the ocean. And yet, looking out at the white foam at the sliver of the sun being swallowed up by darkness, Roxas really did feel out of place. What the hell was he _doing_ here?

He swallowed and stayed put behind Axel as the redhead, panting, looked out at the beach which was now far away. Chuckling, he put his hands on his hips and turned to face the blonde practically cowering in his own skin. He cocked his head and clicked his tongue to get the kid's attention.

"I take it you've never been up here before, huh?" he asked, trying to speak over the sound of an incoming wave. Roxas abruptly looked up and shook his head. His bangs were dropping over his eyes a bit since he'd tripped in the tide on the way over here. So now he was drenched in water. Great.

"You?"

Axel smirked down at him and shook a thumb over his shoulder at the edge of the cliff. "Loads of people jump off this thing and into the water down there."

Oh. No.

No, no, no..._no_.

Roxas had to stick a finger in his ear to check if he was hearing Axel's words right. Was he honestly implying that they _jump_ from this gosh forsaken cliff? With the tide coming in as fast as it was and nighttime fast approaching, Roxas had no doubt in his mind that they'd be smashed to pieces. And even if they _did_ manage to make it to the water, more than likely they'd have a pretty damn hard time getting to shore in _this_ darkness.

He smeared a hand down his face before replying. "You're crazy! We'll—"

"Get killed?" Axel asked in a low, serious tone of voice.

"We—" Now wait. What was that? Roxas removed his hand from his face and peered down at Axel's feet with two fingers lightly pressing his lips. His eyes widened a bit as he thought about what Axel had just said. His whole body shook on that thought and when he slowly looked back up at his companion he froze on the spot...and just stared. Axel wasn't laughing; he wasn't smiling...so he was really being serious.

Killed...Really?

Roxas felt a few stray beads of sea water touch his cheek when he snapped out of his thoughts. He rubbed them off with his thumb and afterward ran a hand through his hair. Now that he thought about it, anything in this world could kill a person, even waves, even darkness. Every little thing lying on the floor could end someone's life, and here he was going to the extremes—wanting to throw himself off a seven story building. The result would always be the same: death. And yet...he just didn't—he just didn't want that.

"I can go first if you want," Axel muttered, turning his body sideways before Roxas. The blonde nearly lunged forward at that movement, but quickly held his composure and glued his feet to the place he stood. When Roxas didn't respond, Axel shrugged and completed his turn by facing the ocean. "Alright. Looks like I'm first, hm?"

"I—"

"You don't have to do it, you know. I just thought it'd be an easier alternative."

"A-Axel," Roxas started, lightly chuckling to the redhead's back. He held a hand out, unbeknownst to Axel, and took a little step forward although he really _did_ try to stop himself. This scene seemed all too familiar. "It's just not—"

"Worth it?"

Roxas really wished Axel would stop interrupting him. This was important. Why—why did Roxas let himself get duped like this? Why did he allow himself to be swayed by Axel's words? They weren't here for the nostalgia; no they were here to _die_. Axel was honestly here to get the two of them killed! For Roxas...that just couldn't happen. Not here. No, not at this place; this place...it was too important, no matter how many times he tried to ignore it.

He bit his lip and tried speaking to Axel again. "Will you just listen to me?"

"Too late for that, Roxas," Axel muttered to the ground. For a while the two stood quietly with nothing but the darkness wrapped around them. Roxas had to squint to get a good look at Axel, and after each passing second he thought that he'd be alone, that Axel would've jumped off the edge...and gone away. Axel wouldn't. No, he wouldn't!

"...Stop it," the blonde nearly whimpered that, but Axel ignored him. That's it...

Axel took one step forward.

"Stop."

And another step.

"Axel..."

Two more now...

"So...this is goodbye then, hm?" Axel asked, glancing over his shoulder. But before Roxas could respond, he took a step forward and ran toward the edge with little hesitation. This was it. The jump he'd wanted to take. He'd die here, it seemed...

But Roxas wouldn't have that. Roxas's little heart pounded roughly against his chest as he watched Axel run further and further away, only this time _seeing him_ wasn't as comforting as when they'd been on the beach. Was he really about to be abandoned...? No! Axel couldn't go away..._Axel couldn't leave him standing here alone. _It was a split second decision, maybe a little less than that when Roxas grabbed the sides of his head, tightly shut his eyes...and screamed.

"_I SAID STOP!_"

Suddenly, the world stopped.

Roxas wasn't sure if he'd even succeeded; his eyes were still closed and he wasn't looking forward. He couldn't hear footsteps running away from him, he couldn't hear waves crashing and pounding a body to death. He cringed, he panted...and suddenly he felt so small. Alone. The wind blew across his face, almost as if it wanted to calm him down, but he barely paid attention. All his nerves seemed to stop functioning. This feeling...of being alone...

"_...Didn't I promise you we'd go home?_"

With that, Roxas's breathing hitched and his head became extremely light. Did he...just imagine that? That voice? But as soon as he opened his eyes he looked up and saw a familiar face...smiling at him. He had a hand outstretched to the kid, a sign of friendship, a sign of peace almost. A hand that usually came with the words "I'm here" or "I'll be here for you." But Roxas...he didn't want to take that hand. He didn't want to accept those words, the very words engraved on the broken heart around his neck. Instead, he scowled at them and in one swift movement turned his back and bolted away into the night.

"_Roxas?_"

"I don't need you!"

It was almost 7 o'clock.

xxXXxx

Roxas burst through that door like a bat out of hell. He'd stormed through the streets of Twilight Town this late at night without stopping to take a breather and right now his body was feeling the pain. His legs felt like they were about to snap in half and his brain was pounding, pounding, _pounding_ against his skull. He brought a hand to his temple and rubbed at it for a second before slamming the door shut behind him and letting the sound echo through the dark streets of town.

Here he was again, atop this old building. The one building he went to for solace, for completion at the end of most days. He hadn't been here in a long time, so setting foot atop it felt good...very good. But because he was so..._pissed_ the feeling was virtually nonexistent. He shook his head and like second nature he shot toward the right and made for his favorite corner of the building—the one with the dark alley directly below it.

Roxas's heart was about ready to leap out of his throat at this point and he could taste blood on his tongue. He might've bit it as he was running over here from the beach. It happened in such a flash so he wasn't too clear on the details. But somehow he'd made it here in one piece with the only intention of ending the day in pieces. His feet felt extremely numb as he approached the abandoned corner which was beckoning him to come closer. The street lights hadn't yet flickered on, so now all he had to do was _go for it_.

He quickly positioned his feet and briefly peeked over the edge at the dark pavement seven stories down. He wondered if anyone would find him there...

Maybe Axel. But he really couldn't think about that idiot right now. Huh. That idiot and his _games_. Who was he trying to pull? It was people like Axel that Roxas really couldn't care less if they were run over by a bus. Stupid people, people who ran around with an ego larger than their head. Axel thought he could stump Roxas with that little scare? Hah! He had another thing coming!

Roxas sniffled once and felt his eyes sting each time he blinked. There was a lump caught in his throat, but he was too afraid to swallow and get rid of it. In a way, he wanted it to be there, but he couldn't understand why. He sniffled again and tried to ease his breathing more. He had to find his isolated world and _stick_ to it. He had to be alone no matter how much he feared being by himself. He tried, he really did...but then he had to be interrupted. Yet again.

_Bang_

"What!?" Roxas spun around to face the noise only to come up with darkness. His eyes flashed and his stomach rolled as he peered around the rooftop. The thunder above him meant rain, so the sound could've just been the weather. Then again, Roxas didn't want to get too comfortable with that idea and instead remained still to further check his surroundings. More thunder...more lightning and rolling clouds...he had to be alone.

_I'm gonna jump...come on, Roxas. You have to do this...you have to—_

"_Your comfort zone, huh?_"

Roxas twitched and looked around him in a panic. Already the rain was starting to come down in big fat drops, so his vision was becoming distorted by the second. He backed up closer to the edge until he could feel the backs of his feet dangling in the air. A simple gust of wind could've blown him over...

"Who asked you!?" he called out to the voice.

The response came quicker than Roxas expected. "_You really think you can fool me, Roxas?_"

"I'm not trying to fool anyone!"

"_Really? You're not? Kinda looks like it t' me! Still, more than anyone, you're foolin' yourself!_"

"Knock it off!" Roxas growled, waving a hand in the wet air as if he were sending a punch across someone's face. He had to get out of here. It seemed that no matter where he went someone else would follow. On that note, Roxas knitted his brows and dashed off across the roof, trying to the best of his ability to avoid bumping into walls or chimneys. The rain was coming down heavier now, and his skin was starting to feel battered and bruised by the incoming droplets. No matter where he went...there was always something, some_one_ to bother him.

What did he want? To be _alone_...or to be with someone?

No, no, he couldn't think about any of that! He couldn't—he couldn't—

"_Roxas!_"

Just like that, Roxas was trapped. The voice came from out of nowhere and in an instant the blonde felt his entire body being pushed to his left. He nearly cried out as his left arm met with the hard surface of what felt like the exit door, but he bit on his wounded tongue and kept himself together. Pain was searing through every bit of the poor kid's body...and he knew he couldn't handle it...he didn't want to.

"Look at me, ok?"

Roxas growled and squirmed stubbornly as he was held firmly by his upper arms. "I don't take orders from you!"

"Why'd you run away, Roxas?"

"That's none of your business!"

"'Cause you were scared?"

"Shut up!"

"Did I push you too far? Is that it!?"

"Why the hell do you care!?"

"If you wanted to die here then you should've just told me!"

"...No..."

"You wanted to die alone, right?"

"I don't—!"

"Just _tell_ me so I know what I can give you, Roxas! It ain't that hard!"

"I—"

"You wanna tell me the truth or are we gonna stay bantering like this all night?"

"There's nothing—there's nothing I can tell you. You don't need to know anything!"

"Maybe you wanted _me_ to die back there, hm?"

"N-no."

"No? Then what? You'd rather we go down together? Where're you standing right now, Roxas? Hm?"

"I don't even know!"

"What do you really _want_ Roxas? You wanna live?"

"_Axel, I don't know!_" Roxas's voice gradually began to shake and lower as his and Axel's conversation went on. The rain was still falling at a dramatic pace, but because Axel was literally hovering over the blonde, Roxas could see his face fairly well. He could feel the redhead's fingers clawing into his arms, holding him against the door and preventing him from running away. He shut his eyes and tried to forget...shut things away...

"...Don't lie t' yourself," Axel muttered, his voice slightly rose as if lecturing the kid. "Don't lie."

"I—I don't—"

Axel leaned in closer to hear the kid's whispers and searched Roxas's wet little face for a reaction. He loosened his grip on Roxas's arms, but still pressed his body tightly against the door, no matter how much it hurt. It was now or never for Roxas to admit what he really wanted, to come out and say what he'd held bottled up. Axel knew this...he knew Roxas was holding in too much. Find the trigger...

"Roxas—"

"_I don't want_..."

"...You—"

"_I DON'T WANT TO DIE!_" Roxas screamed so loudly that it even made Axel twitch. It echoed across the rooftop, through the night and more than likely across the street...but no one else was around to hear it. Because, in reality, in this little world, Roxas wasn't really by himself...He didn't only have himself to talk to, to listen to.

He had Axel. And now that someone was here to listen, Roxas could honestly say that hereally_...didn't want to die_.

* * *

**AH. so THAT was roxas's confession, ey? whodathunk it? i really enjoyed writing this one, mostly because of roxas's conflicting emotions and super!axel to the...rescue, i guess. xD**

**going on a tangent here: re: com. WIN. epic, epic WIN. \o/ i got this game the day it came out and i've been posting a daily game blog about it on my deviantart. you'll need to see that to understand my reasons for disliking certain parts of this game and loving others. if i wrote about it here, it'd take up at least another 20 pages, so i'll save your eyes, m'kay? xD long story short, the card battle system is iffy, the voice acting is a 7.5 out of 10, the graphics are 10 out of 10 and overall i give the game a 8.5 out of 10. AXEL. AH. YOU--YOU ARE JUST...AH.**

**now! moving right along. i can barely speak because my throat feels like it's about to explode. Dx this is awful...and i really hope that my sickness didn't shine through in this chapter. OTL you still love me, right? right? hello? ...anyway. i'm trying to keep this story off of hiatus as best i can, i promise. mm...what have i gotten myself into?**

**oh, interesting factoid: it's global orgasm day. so...y'know. GO OUT AND BE MERRY, KIDS!**

**_every day is global orgasm day for axel and roxas xO,  
kokoro77_  
**


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